I’m Seven Years Old and You, Kid’s Cuisine, Are My Girlfriend
My word. Two penguin stickers here on your side. One surfing. One playing in the sand on the beach. Tells quite a story doesn’t it?
Tag: Relationships
My [24m] Girlfriend [24f] is Leaving Me for a Brooklyn Alternative Comic [40fuckingloser]
He just pretended to make a phone call where he was trying to return a Blockbuster VHS, for twenty minutes. My girlfriend was laughing so hard.
11 Questions You Should Never Ask on a First Date at a Haunted Murder Restaurant
If you're at a loss for words upon finding the body of your waiter, Miguel, hanging from a meat hook, try to avoid asking obvious questions.
The Wall Leaves a Series of Voicemails for President Trump
I get it. You're not really interested in me. I'm just an object you can show off to your friends. "Ooh look, I'm Donald Trump and I have a big wall!"
The Universe Tells Me
I doubt it would cook up an abundance of hate to overpower the abundance of love. It would be so not like the universe to fuck with abundance.
Cute Winter Date Activities To Do Right Before You Break Up
A Cooking Class: after watching him try to poach an egg, realize you’re ready for someone who knows the difference between cinnamon and cardamom.
How My Wife Improved Robert Frost’s Most Famous Poem
Helen, Please call me Kenn. I spoke to my wife about the "situation." I feel like the least I can do is let you know what happened.
A People’s History of My Failed Marriage
Power concedes nothing without demand, Janet. No longer will you say that I drank seven guitargaritas at the Tampa Hard Rock Hotel & then wet myself.
Where I’ll Meet My Soulmate, According to Romantic Comedies
Looking for your perfect man? Try wandering around in the pouring rain, pretending you’re a beautiful lost tourist in need of directions.
Quiz: Are You Rupert Holmes’s Lady?
2. At your nephew’s bar mitzvah, Rupert “reluctantly” agrees to sing “Escape (the Piña Colada Song)” for the guests. What describes what happens next:
Thanks a Lot for Dumping Me, Your Big-City Fiance, In This Hallmark Holiday Movie
I didn’t know that a first date at a restaurant was inferior to slipping on ice in your heels and falling into the arms of your high school ex.
Upcoming Hallmark Christmas Movies for the 2018 Season
"The Christmas Countdown": A group of photogenic children frolic by a fireplace and repeatedly exclaim "It's almost Christmas!" for 87 minutes.