The Wall Leaves a Series of Voicemails for President Trump
I get it. You're not really interested in me. I'm just an object you can show off to your friends. "Ooh look, I'm Donald Trump and I have a big wall!"
Tag: Relationships
The Universe Tells Me
I doubt it would cook up an abundance of hate to overpower the abundance of love. It would be so not like the universe to fuck with abundance.
Cute Winter Date Activities To Do Right Before You Break Up
A Cooking Class: after watching him try to poach an egg, realize you’re ready for someone who knows the difference between cinnamon and cardamom.
How My Wife Improved Robert Frost’s Most Famous Poem
Helen, Please call me Kenn. I spoke to my wife about the "situation." I feel like the least I can do is let you know what happened.
A People’s History of My Failed Marriage
Power concedes nothing without demand, Janet. No longer will you say that I drank seven guitargaritas at the Tampa Hard Rock Hotel & then wet myself.
Where I’ll Meet My Soulmate, According to Romantic Comedies
Looking for your perfect man? Try wandering around in the pouring rain, pretending you’re a beautiful lost tourist in need of directions.
Quiz: Are You Rupert Holmes’s Lady?
2. At your nephew’s bar mitzvah, Rupert “reluctantly” agrees to sing “Escape (the Piña Colada Song)” for the guests. What describes what happens next:
Thanks a Lot for Dumping Me, Your Big-City Fiance, In This Hallmark Holiday Movie
I didn’t know that a first date at a restaurant was inferior to slipping on ice in your heels and falling into the arms of your high school ex.
Upcoming Hallmark Christmas Movies for the 2018 Season
"The Christmas Countdown": A group of photogenic children frolic by a fireplace and repeatedly exclaim "It's almost Christmas!" for 87 minutes.
Festive and Angst-Ridden Holiday Missed Connections
Missed You… Again You: A relaxing holiday. Me: Dehydrated, depleted, stuck in traffic. God, I want you so bad.
Donald Trump’s Criterion Top 10
"The Royal Tenenbaums" is a movie about people who have so much money but also no money, which I promise you, folks, I promise you that's possible.
10 Fun Ways to Market a House Without a Garage
Research the Community Parking Regulations: Beverly Hightower, the girl you’ve been in love with since sophomore year, is sitting on your train.