As a Writer, I Am the Most Important Person in This Relationship and on Earth
Did it even occur to me to check in with my dad after his heart surgery? No, because that would have meant shutting the door on the Muse, and that is just selfish.
Tag: Relationships
Will This “All in One” Shampoo Save My Marriage?
I was trying to think of ways to incorporate Equate’s “All in One” shampoo into a plan that would make my wife think of me as a better husband.
All My Friends Are Getting Married or Having Kids, But I Just Found Out What the Inside of a Kiwi Looks Like
Nazeema is currently on her honeymoon in a country that she can't pronounce or point out on a map. I can pronounce, "kiwi."
How to Have a Happy Relationship Even Though You’re Not Dating Mister Rogers
Fred had a song for every occasion: feeling happy, excited, blue. He even called it, “feeling blue,” and not “oh, so you’re taking another nap today?”
Hey Bullies: Stay Off Our Beaches
How many times have you seen this: some jerk starts trying to drink all the ocean water because they don’t want the fish to have it.
If Bachelorette Contestants Were Burger King Menu Items
100% white meat between a mayonnaise-soaked bun, this Trump-supporter gets drunk off vodka cranberries and admits that he’s never met a black person.
An Interview with the Two Largest Books on Your Shelf
Q: Who’s more likely to be used in the event that a fire is desperately needed? Harry Potter: Definitely Jest. Infinite Jest: Me.
We Can’t Marry Prince Harry Anymore, But We Can Be Princesses in Other Ways
Princesses are always getting smooched and we can get kisses, too! And hey, if we're going through a dry spell, a frog's not the worst option.
Things We Learn About Han Solo in “Solo: A Star Wars Story”
Once, he drove the Millennium Falcon to McDonald’s, Google Maps said “Bon appetit!” and Han thought it was making fun of him so now he only uses Waze.
Realistic Financial Goals By Age 35
Relationships are about one thing, and one thing only: affordable housing. Find someone who doesn’t smell too bad and lock it down.
Open Letter to the Guy I’ve Been Dating in My Mind for 18 Months
I asked you on a date in my head and pretend-you said yes. This confirmed it; you are a kind-hearted guy who can see the potential in me.
8 Things You Should Never Say on a First Date
Negative and disgusting things you should save until at least the second date, if you're lucky enough to get that far.