Ladies, Don’t You Wish Your Man Was Cleaner, More Passionate, and Less Racist?
I'm a woman who knows what she wants, and an unkempt sexual novice dedicated to preserving the genetic purity of the white race is so not one of them.
Tag: Relationships
A Sick Husband’s Apology Voicemail to His Wife
Hon… are you there? Pick up? When I get home, I must keep away from kids. No want kids get sick. I'll sneak into bedroom. Turn on Nintendo, if I have strength.
We Made Cat Tinder Because There Were No Better Options
Why spend the night with a random internet hookup who describes you as a "sex kitten" when you can hold a real kitten?
9 Fun and Local-Approved Things To Do in Seattle When You’re in Town for Your Uncle’s Funeral
Yes, your uncle is dead. But Seattle is an amazing city and you WILL NOT let a perfectly good couple of days away from the office and kids be ruined by a lousy funeral.
The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants: An Update
The heart wants long johns from Saks. The heart can't get long johns from Saks unless it can get into the subway, but it used all it's coins.
Everything I Hate About My Favorite Movie, Frozen
Why don't Elsa's gloves freeze when she's wearing them? Those manacles they clapped onto her hands when she was in prison sure froze though, didn't they?
Women, Here’s What Your Dating Profile Should Really Look Like
More friendly advice for those women thinking about online dating...because my advice for men the first time around wasn't enough.
How Silent Films Taught Me to Be a Better Lover
My girlfriend Mary Lou always told me to stop twirling my mustache and tying her to train tracks, but I never really took it seriously, you know?
Is Your Child a Poser? Learn the Four Major Warning Signs
It's impossible to monitor your child 24/7, nor should you. But you should remain vigilant to certain signs so this epidemic doesn't affect your family's welfare.
A Letter of Recommendation Template for Men Struggling to Date
After I wrote my friend Dave a letter of recommendation, his dating dry spell ended immediately. Now I'm giving you permission to use the same template!
Why Successful Immigrants Shouldn’t Become Birds at 40 Years Old
Whoever manages this Human-to-Bird-conversion is clearly a prankster. I've clearly done too much whining, and too little flying practice up to now.
10 Tips for Leading a Balanced Lifestyle
Leading a balanced life is difficult. But with a little bit of hope, patience, understanding, and a simple reading of this article, I can help you achieve it!