Is He Ghosting You or Is He Ghostface from the “Scream” Franchise?
He loves late-night, steamy phone calls when I’m home alone. I always tell him it’s such a boomer move but he just loves hearing my voice!
Tag: Relationships
So Your Mom’s Dating Pete Davidson
Q: Do I have to call Pete Davidson "Dad"? A: No one will ever replace your biological father, but Pete Davidson will be around to keep your mom company.
Topics That Are Too Freudian to Discuss on a First Date: A Comprehensive Guide
-The “proper” way to peel a banana (other fruits and vegetable should be fine) -Organized religion -The taste, texture, or general concept of milk
A Template for Confessing Your Infidelity and/or Announcing You Are the New Pope
I think we can all agree: it is odd how a single (accidental text message / vote with my fellow Cardinals) can change the course of history
Medically Speaking, Loneliness Is Just as Deadly as Smoking? So Yeah, You Could Say That I Like to Live on the Wild Side, Baby
Yeah, I’m the Leonardo Da frickin’ Vinci of avoiding meaningful human interactions.
Bumble Dates You Will Go Out With Only Once
Matchbox 20: Things will go great until you ask him about his favorite band.
Stop Your Spiders Getting Chilly with Octo-Cozy™ Technology
My own spider (Cecil) was like the son I never had. Actually, I have a human son, but he's been quite a disappointment to me.
I’m Your Lip Balm and Enough Is Enough
You started to leave my cap off, like it was no big deal.
The Wedding Ceremonies of Someone Who’s Been Married 4 Times Already
Here they come—the very few remaining loved ones that will still attend this charade. There’s Grandpa Ernie, wearing his pajamas.
Thought-Provoking Relationship Questions for Clingy Philosophers
- Which do you love more: me or your idea of me? - Would you still love me if I were replaced, piece by piece, until nothing of my original self was left?
Dating an MFA Student: Preliminary Waiver and Release
Your Date reserves the right to describe your physical shortcomings, erroneous grammar, ill-chosen wardrobe, and sub-par erotic technique in detail.
10 Ways My New Relationship Is Nothing Like the Ryan Lochte Gas Station Scandal of the 2016 Rio De Janeiro Olympics
I’ve never lied about being robbed at gunpoint to avoid admitting to pissing in some bushes outside of a western Rio de Janeiro gas station.