You All Know Nothing About My Perfectly Normal Relationship!
Well, I bet you all felt pretty stupid a month later when we got divorced. You all are just wrong time after time.
Tag: Relationships
14 Cute Signature Wedding Cocktails That Say “I Give It a Year”
The May-Decemberita: Sherry with a sprinkle of Molly.
Parasocial Security Will Take Care of Your Favorite Aging Celebrities
Instead of throwing your funds away on selfish pursuits, this new program ensures your precious headcanon stays intact.
How to Tell If That Guy Who Desperately Needs a Kidney Like-Likes You
He asks you about yourself, things like, “Can you give me a kidney?” and, “So how’s about that kidney?”
As the Escaped Felon Hiding in Your Attic, I’m Deeply Concerned About Your Marriage
I was awoken by the sounds of you two screaming at each other. People make less noise being shanked in the shower.
The MD: The World’s Only Sexually Transmitted Degree
When I married my wife, I assumed all of her knowledge. That's how marriage works. Marriage means sharing everything.
How to Meet Someone Without the Apps
Discover a New Type of Bug: When you’re talking about the bug on National Geographic, make a joke about how you’re single.
I Found My Soulmate, and He’s an Instant Pot
The Instant Pot is everything you want in a partner: dependable, easy to understand, warm, generous, creative, talented, and great in the kitchen!
Is He Ghosting You or Is He Ghostface from the “Scream” Franchise?
He loves late-night, steamy phone calls when I’m home alone. I always tell him it’s such a boomer move but he just loves hearing my voice!
So Your Mom’s Dating Pete Davidson
Q: Do I have to call Pete Davidson "Dad"? A: No one will ever replace your biological father, but Pete Davidson will be around to keep your mom company.
Topics That Are Too Freudian to Discuss on a First Date: A Comprehensive Guide
-The “proper” way to peel a banana (other fruits and vegetable should be fine) -Organized religion -The taste, texture, or general concept of milk
A Template for Confessing Your Infidelity and/or Announcing You Are the New Pope
I think we can all agree: it is odd how a single (accidental text message / vote with my fellow Cardinals) can change the course of history