Teacher of the Year: Mr. Richard Head
When the barrier between student life and adulthood is pulled down, we hope that each of our graduates will stand out as a bulging success.
Tag: Religion
Dear God, I’m Not Going to Kiss Your Ass in this Letter
Although You and your Son continue to get rave reviews, you're nothing but a supernatural dog and pony show. A metaphysical scam of Biblical proportions.
I’m Beginning to Have Second Thoughts About Joining This Apocalyptic Death Cult
There's no one thing that's bugging me about the death cult; it just seems like every few days another annoyance breaches the surface, and they're starting to add up.
I’m God, And When I Said I Love Everyone, I Was Talking Specifically About You, Martha
I'm in love with you Martha, and I know that must be hard to hear, even though I'm projecting my omnipotent voice clearly into your subconscious.
Executive Committee Minutes for the Hollywood Chapter of the International Jewish Conspiracy
Steven Spielberg, Harvey Weinstein, Barbra Streisand, and Michael Eisner gather for an important meeting to discuss production on the next collection of Jewish films.
Communion Would Be a Lot More Popular with Oreos
If this is all symbolic anyway, then why can't the church bless a package of Oreos and distribute them accordingly? You'd see more children paying attention.
The Religious Dream Team Starting Lineup
Like the 1992 Men's Olympic Basketball Team, if we take the best parts of every religion to form one "Dream Team Religion," I'd actually consider being a part of that.
The Atheist Club’s First Annual Christmas-Themed Christmas Party
Past Christmas parties by the house church had themes such as "Dinner" and "Watching Netflix," but this year the theme is... *drumroll* "Christmas"!
The Great Outdoors with Jesus Christ and Friends, Episode 3
Christ and friends are at a very special little coffee shop in Marquette, Michigan where, to everyone's great surprise, they make an outstanding discovery: Bigfoot!
Welcome to Heaven, You Now Play the Harp
Welcome to Heaven! As I'm sure you can see, we're really quite busy. We hope this pamphlet answers all of your questions about your new musical eternity.
Dumbfounded Priest Officiates Soap Opera Wedding
Oh great, the ring bearer is Bryan, Ashley's TOTALLY PLATONIC best friend and brother of her husband, Ryan. Surely his rugged good looks won't fuel any drama.
A Tourist’s Guide to the Afterlife
After my wildly successful lecture series, "Where The Hell Am I? A MapQuest For The Afterlife," people had a lot more questions about Heaven. Here's my travel guide!