Real Biblical Quotes for Straight People Playing Gay Characters
Mark 4:12: "You, my son, hath the chiseled physique of a Philistine and the facial features of a young King David. They will not care."
Tag: Religion
Apartment Rules That May or May Not Relate to the Recent Cult Activity
If you happen to hear chanting outside of quiet hours, please do not respond by screaming out, “You call that chanting? I’ll show you chanting!”
Self-Assessment: How Electable You Are for President Based on Your Religion
CHRISTIAN-CATHOLIC: Oh wow. Not a great choice. Sure, Catholics are technically Christians, but today’s voters require that you be "saved."
7 Father’s Day Activities for Abraham, the Dad Who Is Hellbent on Sacrificing You
Nothing says “Don’t sacrifice me!” like breakfast in bed. An omelet and fresh coffee is the perfect way to warm Dad up to the idea of sparing you.
I’m a High School Science Teacher, and I Pray Every Time I Set Up the Bowling Ball Pendulum
The basis upon which I have lived my entire life is jeopardized—and all because of a trust fall with the ghost of Sir Isaac Newton.
6 Techniques I Believe Will Get Sonny the Cuckoo Bird to Renounce Cocoa Puffs and Embrace Christianity
1) I Make a Rube Goldberg-type Machine That Gives Sonny a Spank Right on the Keister Every Time He Lifts the Spoon to His Mouth
Forgive Me, Father, For I Have Rollerbladed Once More
I wish to cleanse myself of the guilt for defying both you and my lovely wife by dusting off the ol’ blades and gracefully gliding down the street.
Revealed: A Therapist’s Notes after Meeting with Jesus
His dad is not here, but he says his dad is everywhere (denial?) / Continues to worry because he knows he's gonna die…. ok ok
I Don’t Need a Stinking Dove to Tell Me When It’s Safe to Get Off This Godforsaken Ark
That mewing and hawing you’re hearing on the upper deck isn’t the 4 PM slop feeding. It’s a protest!
Zoinks! It’s the Scooby-Doo Easter Special
Shaggy interrupts Jesus to say that he is just like him: he doesn’t have bones, but rather, Scooby Snacks shaped like bones.
Our Ancestors Didn’t Escape the Pharaoh in Egypt for You to Do Nothing with Your Life
Karpas --- Eating the Green Vegetable: Is this the first vegetable you’ve had all month? We raised you better than to eat all that junk food.
Memo from Jesus: Read the Father’s Manual
Just yesterday, Sabrina summoned me. “Jesus!” she exclaimed. It sounded important so I flew over, only to find her reading the news on her phone.