Alabama State Senator or The Bachelorette Contestant?
Garrett P. is from Birmingham and looking for love. Dan R. is from Birmingham and does not care that there is less than 25% support for banning abortion.
Tag: Religion
St. Peter Will Not Let Me Into Heaven Unless I Admit That My 11th Grade Girlfriend Broke Up With Me, And Not the Other Way Around (Untrue)
There’s no way I could have been dumped. I was in the prime of my life—I had a t-shirt for every major beer brand and I drove a Pontiac Grand Am.
Quiz: Which New Testament Snack is Your Ultimate Boyfriend?
Jesus, Herod, Judas, and John the Baptist were the One Direction of the Roman Empire, with their feuds, alliances and grooming choices.
Why Nope to Me Being Pope?
Despite the obstacles--not learning Latin, being married, wearing a sombrero with “I'm the POPE!” in neon letters--in my heart I didn't lose.
The Real Reason Christians Give Things Up for Lent
The devil tempted Him, offering Jesus the remote, the devil said to him, “take this, and you may binge watch Game of Thrones.”
God Puts “Religion” Up for Review
We revised the concept of “eternal damnation” and suggest referring to it as “be cool bro."
A Guide to Nonthreatening Celtic Symbols
Circle With A Line: A symbol which has negative connotations, thanks to the Ghostbusters. If you put this on a face, it could be seen as “cancelling.”
Mardi Gras: A Spiritual Necessity
Nearby, a woman shits in the street. This symbolism is unclear. But I’m grateful for the diverse and unique ways that others connect with God.
The Universe Tells Me
I doubt it would cook up an abundance of hate to overpower the abundance of love. It would be so not like the universe to fuck with abundance.
I’m Concerned My Cult Isn’t Sacrificing Enough Virgins
None of my fellow parishioners have invited me to partake in a communal sexual ritual to awaken the dead, or place a hex on targeted politicians.
8 Reasons You Shouldn’t Play God (That Aren’t Some Bullshit About Morality)
Profitability - Market confidence in any sort of synthesized life forms has been steadily declining since the 70s.
The Trump Administration’s Official Recommendations for Hanukkah Parties
“Sufganiyot” might be a traditional treat, but it’s hard to pronounce, and makes you seem like you’re plotting an overthrow of American jelly donuts.