All of the Most Common Vegetarian Menu Items, Ranked
When you request to have the meat removed, they’ll still charge you full price so at least your bank account feels like you’re eating a real meal.
Tag: Restaurants
If You Don’t Mind Signing This Disclaimer Before You Enjoy That Raw Meat Sandwich
We at Fatty Matty’s Quakin’ Baconz do not assume liability for any health complications and/or death that may arise from the "DOIN’ IT RAW" special.
Subway Restaurant or Subway Transportation?
There is a half-eaten sub sandwich on the ground. It looks like it has been there for some time. / You're here because you wanted to go "green."
The McRib Sandwich or My Absent Father?
Very hard to get a hold of. / Rarely available but never disappears forever. / Covered in BBQ sauce.
Side Pickle Is a Gift from God
No matter how many side pickles one has in their lifetime, each new side pickle feels like the first.
I’m a Newspaper and I’m Loving My Side Hustle as the Food Presentation Wrap Paper in a Trendy Restaurant
Who else is willing to be drenched by the grease of your chicken a la finger basket? Let’s see Facebook try and do that.
Nick Carraway’s Summer in Margaritaville
All of West Tampa’s aristocrats, from Hulk Hogan to the purveyor of Oxyclean, would cavort around his twirling menagerie of slushie machines.
How to Make a Drive-Thru Interaction Incredibly Awkward
Someone of your social ineptitude fears any conflict, meaning you should absolutely feel nervous about upsetting a bored stranger you can't even see.
The Vlad Quartet Is Not Playing at Ronnie Scotts
"Hello, this is Valedy calling. So sorry I missed the gig. I got pranked. Somebody nailed my coffin shut. By the time I got out, it was the next day."
Sharks, Before You’re All Out, Give Me 4 More Minutes to Pitch My Matrix-Themed Restaurant
At each Morpheats location, you're welcomed into a cyberpunk dystopia by a pleather-clad “Matrix d’” who takes you to your virtual table.
I Am Your Coffee Shop Realtor
My business cards are written on giant chalkboards with a topical joke that changes when I feel like it, and I send all receipts to your email.
We Can’t Open Until Someone Comes Up with a Bon Mot for the Sidewalk Chalkboard
If we don’t come up with an ingenious sign, no one will ever come in, meaning no one will share post shots of our killer foam art.