I’m Sick and Tired of Congress Politicizing Tragedies Like the One I’m About to Perpetrate
Bureaucrats will waste zero time before pointing fingers and disrespecting the men, women, and children I'm about to systematically mow down.
Tag: Restaurants
How I Got My Dad to Stop Bowing to the Waitstaff at Toshi’s Sashimi House
He may mean well, but your dad has gotta stop this. Not only for the good folks at Toshi's, but for your socially-conscious millennial sanity.
Confessions of a Potted Plant in Love with Harvey Weinstein
As a plant, it was one thing to have a guy like Harvey Weinstein brush up against you. But to finish himself off inside you?
How Would You Rate Yourself as a Person From One to Chick-fil-A Employee?
By setting such an unattainable standard for human behavior and existence, Chick-fil-A workers reveal just how miserably inferior the rest of us are.
It Is With a Heavy Heart and Definitely Not Under Legal Pressure That I am Closing My Billy Joel Themed Strip Club
Six weeks ago, when I opened my strip club Scenes From an Italian Breastaurant, I thought the sky was the limit. Sadly, reality caught up with us.
The Top 4 Crown Fried Chickens in Philly to Puke In
So you're way too drunk in Philly, huh? That second 40-ounce is coming back up as a sacrifice to the porcelain gods? Head to one of these Crown Fried Chickens.
8 Tips for Family Vacationing on a Shoestring Budget
If your family is anything like mine, annual vacations rack up years of therapy expenses. Here are a eight money-saving musts to make sure your bank isn't broken while your spirit is.
Six Ways to Get Jacked, Sponsored by Dunkin’ Donuts Energy Punch
Dunkin' Donuts Energy Punch mixes the sugar and caffeine of a can of Monster Energy with the additional sugar of Coolata syrup. Talk about a jolt!
Transition of “Chad’s Bikini Bar and Grill” to “Chad’s Family Bar and Grill”
After 30 great years, we’ve decided to scale back our breastaurant theme and make the transition to one of a more family-friendly restaurant.
Guy Fieri’s Forensic Files
Hi, everybody. I’m Guy Fieri, and we’re rollin’ out, lookin’ for America’s greatest solved murders.
The Things I’d Eat for Love
I’m an adventurous soul who is unafraid to eat things - terrible, weird things - in order to prove my affections for a potential suitor.
Welcome to Café Douchebag
You are cordially invited to the grand opening of Café Douchebag, the hottest restaurant openly pandering to the douchebag lifestyle.