Satire

Tag: Satire

First, remember what you named the file. “Invention idea: the wheel”? “Wheel stuff”? “Wheel deets”? Maybe just “wheel”?

Can’t you see how clean my oven is? How filed my taxes are? How very walked my dog is? And yet, the thing is still not done.

By birth order or circumstantial trauma, you have been designated as the emotional backbone of the household.

Episode 2: After further inquiry we’ve learned that Quentin McCasey is part of an avid subculture of "Indoor Bird Watchers."

CAUTION: I’ve killed before and I’ll kill again. You’re probably thinking: “Why would a soft, soft teddy bear kill a baby?"

WELL GUESS THEY CAUGHT ME. GREAT JOB. BECAUSE I PUT MY BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS. OH GOD SO MANY FUCKING TEARS INTO THIS DRINK.

These here are magic coins that live inside yer lightning box, protected by some new-fangled doohickey called a “blockchain.”

$432.01 - Limbo Beach Bar. Reason: We definitely thought we’d be closing some deals by shouting “Drinks on us!” We were wrong. Bummer.

O Lord, I called upon the sacred number, as it was written on the back of my card.

Alpha Alpha Alpha: If you are an ambitious woman looking to give 110%—or more—to a book club, we are the place for you. We have rules.

I, Your Ratty Underwear, give my consent to die a natural death.

This muddy car plus your wolf family will make for a pretty incredible #weekend-pics Slack post come Monday.