Satire | Page 250 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

Let’s put on some hip-hop and do leg lifts like it’s 2002! Feel the burn. Not #feelthebern. Because really, are the Bernie Bros happy now?

Maybe I should wait for Maisy to realize that anorexia is bad. Maybe I should start a hobby. Maybe I should just crack jokes like usual.

You will recall laughing after I cautioned that I had once confessed to a priest only to watch him go straight to hell. I do not recall laughing.

A great place to stay on those days when you're in a bad mood and just "wanna kill everybody on the whole fucking planet."

Let's get right into the meat of it: immigration. We're going to stop saying "carne" in this country, aren't we, Mr. President?

I was made to bring joy to this world. Now I’m on the floor where I can only bring pain. I fear I am becoming the villain.

Captain Bloodspear has an exclusive library of sea shanties that you can't hear anywhere else. All delivered in his one-of-a-kind spectral rasp.

Historically (more for you than for me as I'm hundreds of years old), gold values increase during dips in international trade.

How could your bandmates of 13 rad-as-hell years up and replace you when all you requested was an indefinite break to go hunt aliens for a living?

I am the caregiver, companion, and confidante to 76 small and medium-sized birds that share my heart and my home. AMA!

Please, please, please, Movie Gods, if you're out there, please let me come to a theater near you. It's all I've wanted since I was a wee script.

Dear Statue, I believe unequivocally that you and I now share some cosmic bond after we locked eyes during Del Toro's acceptance speech.