I Won’t Eat Caribou Unless It’s Slaughtered By at Least a Somewhat Automatic Weapon
Have you ever tried venison that was tactfully killed using a manual-load weapon and just a few bullets to the torso? It's fucking disgusting.
Tag: Satire
A Comedian Made a Joke About the Holocaust, and Now I Feel Unsafe
We simply cannot allow comedians to make jokes about things we don't like. We must all rise up and flaunt our collective disgust.
@TwitterSupport Your Platform Won’t Allow Me to Unfollow the American President
What's going on, you guys? There's not a single French politician I can't follow or unfollow with ease. It's literally just clicking a button.
Stan Lee’s Cameo in My Life as My Dad Has Officially Gone From “Kind of Endearing” to “Where is the Film Crew Hiding?”
The man who started out in a brief cameo appearance has quickly become a series regular in my life, and things are getting weird.
Please Reconsider Me for the Role of “7-Eleven Cashier #1”
Sorry for barging into your casting office, but I believe you're making a huge mistake. Dare I say it, a monumental casting blunder.
I Heard Robert Mueller is a Draft-Dodging Sexual Predator
This Mueller character, looking into "collusion," he's the worst of the bunch. Many sources have told me he's a draft dodger and sexual predator.
The Lord Has Tempted Me with Tons of Gay Sex, But I’ve Overcome
For six years I've preached the dangers of sins of the flesh, during which time the devil lured me into oiled-up twinks, otters, and glitter-daddies.
My Surreal Childhood Bullies
An examination of the lasting damage that can occur when your grade school bullies are influenced by Salvador Dali.
It’s Me, Logan Paul: I Once Monetized Suicide on YouTube, Now I’m Pivoting to Hope
The head of content strategy at YouTube shares my new vision for hope, and has pre-approved the following three Logan Paul vlog concepts.
I Finally Found You, Michael Mainwaring from Chevy’s “Real People Not Actors” Commercial
It's no wonder you stayed hidden from me all these years: you portray a real person better than anyone I've ever seen.
Radically Honest Self-Talk Sparked by “House Hunters” Intros
Will Marcus and Athena find a home to grow into, or will you spend the whole episode oscillating between rage, jealousy, and attraction to Athena?
Everyone Ignored the Warning in My Lyrics, Now “Cotton Eye Joe” is Killing Again
Cotton Eye Joe killed my fiancé, and I tried to warn you about him by weaving the truth of his existence into the lyrics of a popular dance song.