A Mad Libs Breakup Letter
It's not because your hair is so bad in the morning that dainty bunnies have tried to mate with it. Thankfully, it's everything else wrong with you.
Tag: Satire
How to Seduce Flo from Progressive Insurance, In Your Imagination
As a male, I am biologically obligated to mentally have sex with Flo from Progressive. How would it go? What would it be like in those starchy white pants?
Listen Up, Period C Lunch: I AM A TWITTER GOD!
Principal Legree, you hold three college degrees, but have only a pathetic 583 followers. And you claim to rule me? I OWN WESTWOOD HIGH SCHOOL NOW.
Three Ways to Make Millions Writing Blogs
The creative process is cool but I need some serious money. I bet you crave the same. Digest my three-part prescriptive program for making millions.
The Emotional Obstacle Course
After the success of last month's Existential Sack Race, and the rising popularity of the Depression Dash, we've decided to add a new event to our roster.
The Great Outdoors with Jesus Christ and Friends, Episode 3
Christ and friends are at a very special little coffee shop in Marquette, Michigan where, to everyone's great surprise, they make an outstanding discovery: Bigfoot!
RE: 12 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Bread
Thank you for submitting your piece, "12 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Bread," to LaughSmack. What you have written is absolute filth.
Necessary Changes to Ready the NFL for the Coming Socialist Revolution
With only a few minor changes, Mr. Goodell, you can eradicate the tarnish of capitalism from your nefarious NFL and jump-start The Revolution!
Movie Reviews of John and Bethany’s Sex Tape
"Although it's clear there's certainly some raw talent here, it needs to be given a good spit shine. Also, rocking bod, Beth." -Gary Summers, Washington Post
Post-Game Press Conference for Game 1 of the Offensive Team Name Basketball Association Championship
The Cleveland Noble Savages defeated the Jackson City Quadroons 116-110 in Game 1 of the OTNBA Championship. Here is the post-game conference transcript.
Where is Kim Jong-un? He’s Living in My Basement
As speculation of a North Korean coup heats up, everyone wants to know, where is Kim Jong-un? Unfortunately, I know the truth: he's living in my basement.
The Unappreciated, Aspiring Author Files an Auto Insurance Claim
The afternoon sunlight burst through my windshield with a Machiavellian magnificence, creating streaks of radiance dancing through my careening automobile.