The Biggest Mistake in Mail Order Catalog History
For the fall catalog, if you can't write me an evocative, "I-need-this-item-or-I-will-surely-die" product description, you're finished. You will never work retail again.
Tag: Satire
Now That We’ve Broken Up, You Should Get Tested
Dear Katie, I'm writing to tell you to get tested. It seems I've caught something, and not in a fun way, like that time we went fishing at your parent's lake house.
Excerpt from J.K. Rowling’s New Adult Book, “Barry Bowler and the Waltz of Dread”
If not for the massage therapy, Barry Bowler would have been exceptionally down. Doobie's Hair Salon and Massage Parlor was hardly moral, but definitely enjoyable.
As a Clairvoyant, I am Able to— Hey, Where’re You Going?
What, you don't believe in clairvoyants? Well, neither did I. But with this degree of authenticity from DelphiUniversity.com, I assure you my intuition is real.
A Birthday Coup D’Etat: Prince George of Cambridge Turns 1
Prince George wakes up very early on the morning of his first birthday. Unlike other royal babies, he is not shy about his desire to rule, and this time he has a plan.
The Great Outdoors with Jesus Christ and Friends, Episode 2
I hate fishing with Jesus. Well, I abhor fishing anyway, but you'd imagine fishing with JESUS would be a good time. Not so, but I'm here filming it anyway.
You are Cordially Invited to the Anderson Monthly Neighborhood Orgy!
If you are receiving this letter, then you know what that means: the monthly neighborhood orgy is right around the corner and we would like to see you there!
The World Cup: An Underground Sporting Event Every American Should Know About
For all we know, this World Cup may still be going on; we can't be too sure. As Americans, it behooves all of us to try and find out as much as we can about this.
The Great Outdoors with Jesus Christ and Friends
I'm Don Johnson, Christ's faithful cameraman, publicist, and devoted chronicler of his second coming, and this is the premiere episode with Jesus on a turkey hunt!
Dear NASA, Get Me Off the Moon Now Please
Sorry I sneaked on board Apollo 17 without your permission, NASA - that's entirely on me. But listen, can you GET ME OFF THIS FUCKING ROCK ALREADY??
The Kindly Strip Club First-Timer
So if I don't buy a beer I have to leave? I was just telling the underdressed young lady here that I can't buy another beer because I'm saving for plane tickets.
The Fart Collector: How to Turn Shame into Profit
John Finklestein went from celebrated art collector to shamed FART collector overnight. Here's how that smelly reputation ended up taking him to the top.