Welcome to My Sex Dungeon, Where Anything Up To and Including a Handjob Goes
If there’s a place to get a cheaper, more unpleasant handjob, I’ve probably put them out of business.
Tag: Satire
Cannabis Is Medicine, Mom—Period
I think you should ask your doctor about how your lower GI issues could be alleviated with a daily regimen of Green Crack.
A Video Game Tutorial for Your Cheap New Apartment
Welcome to Your Cheap New Apartment! Your main quest is to violate your lease without getting caught.
More Common Cowboy Problems
“I reckon this town ain’t big enough for The Both of Us, my start-up concept for a novelty cowboy singles bar.”
I Appoint You, Nephew Bryce, as Successor in Our Family’s Line of Crazy Uncles
This family has a rich history of Crazy Uncles ruining Thanksgiving. A tradition that you are now responsible for.
I’m a Gourmet Pepper Mill Who Doesn’t Belong at This Thanksgiving Dinner
What’s that they’re talking about now? "Where’s Aunt June’s fun dip?” The fuck is fun dip? Christ in heaven, this is Thanksgiving!
The Only Thanksgiving Topic We Can’t Discuss: The Cornucopia Grapes
Nothing good will come from yelling about whether there’s a glue spot on the plastic pear that indicates where a neighboring bunch of muscats should be adhered.
Help! I’m Trapped Inside the Sunday Football Commercial Break
I walk out into my backyard party—it’s always a party in my backyard. I smile and clink glasses with a man who could be my neighbor, but is he?
Look, We Need to Extend Your Appointment Window Again
FastFix here. Hard to articulate... but there’s something about 5:00 that feels more rounded out than 4:30, don’t you think?
Six Seduction Tips So Saucy They’ll Convince Your Husband to Murder the King of Scotland
Consider swinging with a witch: The best way to do this is by mentioning that you saw them from across the bog, and you really dig their vibe.
Technical FAQ About Your New Hourglass
Q: Do I need to time the hourglass? A: No. That would be redundant.
What I Learned on My Mushroom Retreat for Entrepreneurs
The revelations about the human condition you experience after consuming hallucinogenic mushrooms make it much easier to come up with future Fortune 500 companies.