Half-Baked Relationship Advice
'A Totally Non-Fiction Sketch That Has Never Happened to Me, Ever.' Drew meets his friends Carly and Sam for some advice about a girl he has a crush on. What he doesn't know is that they got really high beforehand.
Tag: Satire
Help, I’ve Broken the Glass Ceiling!
911 OPERATOR: Ma'am, did you mean you literally broken a glass ceiling or you metaphorically broke “the glass ceiling” by becoming a woman in power?
An Open Letter from God
Dear Humans, If you wouldn’t mind, could you please do me one favor: Stop yelling my name during sex. At first it was kind of flattering, but now it’s just ridiculous, and completely distracting.
Entire Rainbow Set to Go Green
Don't look now, but the next time you see a rainbow, it may have gone Green. Riding record profits and a revamped public image, Green has announced a takeover bid.
Dracula Runs for County Judge, District 3
A county judge has to use his intellect and sense of decency and fairness to decide important issues facing people's destinies. That's why I have decided to run for this judgeship.
Ulysses S. Grant Challenges Jefferson Davis to a Duel
Ulysses S. Grant responds to Jefferson Davis' threats of a renewed Separatist Movement in the South by getting drunk, riding straight to South Carolina and challenging him to a duel. But not before passing out in his own vomit.
Sorry Boss, It was the ‘Roids
Dear Boss, I have a confession to make. I probably should have told you a long time ago before things got out of hand: I've been taking steroids every day on the job since Day 1 (and before the job during our interviews).
An Open Letter to Dane Cook
Mr. Cook, I can no longer sit back while your egregious blunders defame the good name of those around you. Especially the illustrious Dennis Rodman.
I Can’t Wait to Break Your Arm
Throughout my life I have had many goals: soccer player, good student, drummer, gym teacher, guy who toasts bagels, etc. But I now see my life as having been misguided because now I know for sure that I seriously can't wait to break your arm.
Make-A-Different-Wish Foundation
Dear Timothy Williams, we regret to inform you that your wish will remain just that: a wish. And wishes don’t come true, Little Timmy. Hey, life is unfair.
Deep Thoughts of a Supermodel
There's a new breed of Brazilian supermodel warriors who actually read and study something other than women's magazines--computer programming and existential thought to be precise.
I Never Should Have Agreed to be in this Poison Tribute Band
I think it's safe to say that agreeing to be the drummer for this Poison tribute band is easily one of the worst life decisions I've ever made.