Satire | Page 31 | Points in Case

Tag: Satire

Sad news to report to Arrowhead fans: At a Cincinnati concert, bassist Valmer DeSota got his long hair stuck in the strings of his bass.

How many grams of protein do you consume each day? What do you mean you don’t know? Don’t you count your macros, bro?

A brief mea culpa from me: as the lone cook of this dinner, I cannot help but feel that I have to bear at least some responsibility for this.

For new patients, let me tell you about the opening scene. We fade in on a beach, sand caked with blood being washed away by the waves!

The filming schedules for the shows overlap so that I always have at least two competing crews filming me at once and oftentimes, all four.

Consider that if you had stolen a different car (like my neighbor’s Prius, as an arbitrary example) and left mine unharmed.

“Love one another,” commanded Jesus Christ, continuing, “Does that make any sense? I feel like I’m not making sense. Sorry.”

Instead of practical commitments, we’ve asked them to show up with the filthiest, horniest fanfic about an environmentalist allegory ever.

If there’s a place to get a cheaper, more unpleasant handjob, I’ve probably put them out of business.

I think you should ask your doctor about how your lower GI issues could be alleviated with a daily regimen of Green Crack.

Welcome to Your Cheap New Apartment! Your main quest is to violate your lease without getting caught.