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Tag: Satire

I matched the microwave, we were like cute twins. During dinner parties, people would say, "Wow, love the matching appliance set."

7:00 AM: Strategize – Inform your boss that you will be working remotely. Why? Get creative.

I AM IN AWE of how you pushed through your lower back pain and chronic prostatitis to get out the giant Rubbermaid containers of Lego.

I’m not like other guys. I’ve embraced my feminine side. Don’t you see my many rings?

Grab yerself a seat by the fire, take a swig of this here moonshine, and connect with me on LinkedIn.

First up, we’ve got That Email You Sent Your Boss Last Week Regarding Your Upcoming Time Off.

Do you like charades? Well you’ll love it when my college acquaintance puts "Malcolm Gladwell" in the bowl for you to act out.

Your friend could have an annoying voice, or he only talks about his personal issues and you’d rather not listen to that during your hour commute.

Please refrain from kicking the waxwork likeness of Canada’s first Prime Minister, Sir John A. Macdonald, between his legs.

I mean, surely five minutes have already passed since I started this internal monologue. Oh, it’s only been 30 seconds? Well.

The public thinks this job is all colorful vinyl and happy bouncing. They're wrong. Catastrophically wrong.

How come I could tell where everybody was in space? Did you mean for the shots to make me feel things?