Why Your End-of-Year Bonus Is a Pet Rock
You: Is there a financial component? Boss: Who needs money when you have the love of a decorated lump of minerals?
You: Is there a financial component? Boss: Who needs money when you have the love of a decorated lump of minerals?
When was the last time my name came up and someone said, “Oh, you mean the guy who ruled over the greatest period of expansion in the Aztec empire?”
I’m on thin ice with my manager, Trayson, and I can't afford another marinara mishap. Please, my job is on the line here.
I called both my parents to tell them that I loved them, then I drove exactly 5 MPH above the speed limit to work.
Get this: he whispers to me. Secrets mostly, and sometimes the weather. Yeah, most people are really jazzed when I tell them.
1. How long have you been putting this off? a. One year. b. Three years. c. Five years. d. My child is, if we must get technical, a member of Generation X.
If you still need more time, we get it. Everyone reads at their own pace, but you must be at least halfway through, right?
I felt a little weird so I went to the bathroom. And—I’m sorry if this is TMI—but I just started fucking bawling man.
After a decade of not giving them a dime for any of their creative output, I just don’t understand why they would call it quits.
Apathy doesn’t gel with our mission of making dogs better-looking with the transformative power of AI.
Text MISS YOU if you're counting down the minutes until you can hold me in your arms.
Now the new books tell me that I am no longer in print and all the Borders are gone.