It Helps to Think of Europe as a Powder Keg, a Thing We Can All Picture
Are you picturing the powder keg? Think back to the last time you went out to sea and needed to bring a large amount of gunpowder.
Tag: School
At Our Montessori School, We Offer Drug Culture Without the Drugs
By the time your child is in elementary school, they’ll be able to replace your basement door with a beaded curtain adorned with Grateful Dead skulls.
I’m 10 Now, Which Means I’m the Biggest Little Bitch on This Playground
Looking around, all I see are duds. In the sandbox, I see toddlers who don’t even know how to use their own feet.
What Your Liberal Arts College Professors Are Really Doing for Summer Vacation
Dr. Ellis is not worrying about grading papers or summoning a hoard of lizard monsters for Gork the Lizard King.
Ways to Say No to Drugs While Still Looking Cool
“Sorry, I can’t, I’m doing drugs later with a different group of cooler kids.”
We, the Manufacturers of the “Gargantuan Gary” Action Figure, Would like to Extend Our Deepest Condolences
It is beyond comprehension to many of us at Spaz headquarters that our new eighty-foot-tall action figure could be the cause of such an accident.
Writers: Are You a Plotter, a Pantser, or Are You Plotting Revenge on the Kid Who Pantsed You in High School Gym Class?
Some write to live out a fantasy that they were never granted: revenge on Frankie Wick, who pantsed them in Ms. Dakota’s class in the 9th grade.
We Didn’t Work Very Hard on This Elementary School Concert
Come on, these kids only have so much grit before they get completely fatigued.
Your B_____ University Decision Letter
It is with great regret that we inform you that you are by far the worst applicant our university has ever seen.
Friendly Notes from a Demonic Kindergarten Teacher
Our goal is that incoming demons feel terrified and resentful as we prepare them for a dark future of inflicting l pain upon mortals.
Now Here’s MSNBC’s Steve Kornacki with Our Basic Math
It’s still early, but if the projections hold—and they should—Jimmy now sits comfortably at seven apples. Not a huge margin, but a significant one.
As President of the School of Hard Knocks, I Regret to Inform You Our Institution Is Not Accredited
Our institution has always transformed negative experiences into learning opportunities; that’s kind of our whole deal.