I’m Mozart, Damnit, Don’t Just Leverage Me for Studying
My music isn't something you stomach for the sake of increased brain function. Save that for the cod liver oil.
Tag: School
An Interview with the Monster Who Designed Your High School Uniform
And my 2007 Autumn/Winter collection: drab brown and caution-tape yellow. Such a foul combination that no one had ever thought to use it before!
It’s Really Really Really Important That We as 10-Year-Old Boys Stand Together and Get the Cooties Vaccine
Let’s band together like the professional basketball players and astronauts we want to be and save the world. Listen up, I got a game plan here.
Choose Your Own University-Approved Pandemic Teaching Option
You must create a class that can be started online, moved to in-person, then back online, all simultaneously. You have the weekend to figure it out.
3rd Grade Virtual Learning Schedule: Week 3, Day 4
Watch “Multiplication, Division, and YOU!” There is no link, so you, a third-grader, will need to do a Google video search and hope for the best.
The 45 Things Every Blossoming Child Needs in Their Micro School
A well-planned curriculum / Disposable teachers who can be replaced just in case / Pencils / 100% renewable eco-powered Mercedes buses
A Gloating Letter from the Dean of the University of Phoenix
Well, would you look at that. Normally everyone condescends to us and makes fun of online college, but now I guess we’re all in the same boat.
Simon Says for Back to School 2020
Simon says log in to the government-subsidized video conferencing system and wave at all your friends like everything is normal.
Giving Writing Workshop Feedback in Non-Workshop Environments
AT A PASTRY SHOP: “While I do appreciate this lemon meringue pie—it’s very sweet, which is fun for a dessert if that’s what you’re going for."
A Back-to-School Reminder to Parents Who Let Their Children Go Feral
Exposed to even one feral child, as many as 22 relatively domesticated children will revert to a state of nature by mid-morning recess.
Governor, I’m Sick of All These Double Standards
Protests are okay but I can't go to the Olive Garden because I use the breadsticks for things that are "objectionable" and "extremely upsetting?"
Yes, The School Is Inside an Active Volcano, But We Need to Send the Children Back In
What could be more healthy than taking a spelling test while boulders—such as the one that just flattened Senator Constantine—fall from the sky?