Is No One Going to Mention That Harry Has Cloned Himself?
We must answer the question of how Harry, a man I once saw eat a Skittle off the men’s room floor, conquered the forbidden frontiers of science.
Tag: Science
This Week’s Pub Trivia Theme Is My Unjust Firing as Quizmaster
You also get free points if you have advice on what to do when your beloved pet gets evicted from his favorite shelf in a seldom-used closet.
Glossary of Science and Technology Terms You Were Afraid to Ask About
Facial Recognition System – Mental procedure of sorting through possible names for an acquaintance one encounters at the grocery store.
Presentations Slated for This Year’s Slightly-Curved Earther Convention
Franklin will use demonstrations, like his “Star Wars figures on a basketball,” to show what would happen if you put humans on a spinning sphere.
I’m Your Winter Cough and I’m Tired of Playing Second Fiddle to That Asshat Sneeze
Sneeze gets his own salutation but what do I get? Nada. Someone sneezes and everyone pulls a muscle trying to be the first to offer a “God bless you.”
Hold the Phone, Wife and Husband Are Also Best Friends?!
Spending the night with your wife is now HAVING A SLEEPOVER WITH YOUR BESTIE. Dinner dates are now EATING WINGS WHILE YOU GOSSIP ABOUT NON-BESTIES.
We Need to Discuss Your Son’s Science Fair Project, “Why Do Mommy and Daddy Use Bad Words?”
If, as his poster suggests, your child is exposed to profanity like “dysentery sh*tstream” and “apocalyptic f*ck-tato,” we need to problem-solve.
I’m an Atheist Straw Man in a Horror Movie
Have you ever heard of the term "self-fulfilling prophecy?" Maybe the cross is made of some kind of metal that vampires are sensitive to.
Eighth-Grade Science vs. Middle-Age Anxiety
Observation: Heart palpitations, shortness of breath, chest discomfort, numb left arm. Hypothesis: I'm having a heart attack and I will die soon.
My Summer Internship Working for Dr. Mercurius Krunth, Mad Scientist
TIME Magazine once called Dr. Krunth, “a man mad enough to think himself a God while doing the work of the Devil.” All summer I would call him “boss.”
An Introduction to the Major Laws of Freelancer Physics
First Law of Freelancer Motion: A freelancer at rest will stay at rest unless that state is changed by an impending deadline.
Of Course I’m Sure I Want to Look “That Sexy” in My Ancestry.com Profile Pic
No, I am not studying genetic science in order to determine whether I can safely hook up with any of my 5th or 6th cousins! Geez.