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Tag: Sex

Sexy post-apocalyptic film and TV were all the rage in the 2010s. Now that the eco-apocalypse is here, make all those fashion preparations pay off.

I'm using my little green thumb to turn up the thermostat and the humidifier at the same time. Now I'm using both hands.

According to legend, the Egyptian ruler Cleopatra made out with the Roman general Mark Antony for several hours before falling asleep.

Wrap yourself from the neck down in Saran Wrap, and then ask a friend to spray lukewarm water between you and the plastic with a garden hose.

He is no longer the youth pastor you spoke with about the morals of masturbation too many times; he is the teacher that made you believe in bullying.

After living the bore of your nine-to-five stability, you’re ready for some extra, life-long, exciting (did I say “life-long”?) responsibility.

Heat almond milk to a tepid temperature. Look around your little get together and remind guests that it is 9:01 PM on Saturday and it’s getting late.

Taxi Driver. Oyoyoy. Ya know, my wife once said she wants to have sex in the backseat of a taxi. I says, “Great!” She says, “Perfect… you drive!”

Many couples incorporate costumes into their love lives, but pointing out an outfit’s inaccuracies provides true stimulation.

Also, need I remind you, I didn’t try to lasso the waiter with it---I did lasso the waiter with it.

“We’re number one!” I cheer. The team wheels around. “No,” they respond. “YOU’RE number one.” Then they offer to pay off all of my debt.

It’s really nice catching up like this, but I do feel like we need to have a little talk, bear to man.