In Retrospect, Maybe It Was Kind of Obvious That Mitch McConnell’s Kink Was Being Torn Apart By an Angry Crowd
There were signs: Marco Rubio found Mitch had recently searched for “sexy outraged citizens tear male politician to shreds video.”
Tag: Sex
I Thought I Loved Derrick to the Moon and Back, But We Still Have 318,000 Miles Left in This Voyage and I Think I Might Kill Him
I thought space was going to be the most romantic time of our 10-month relationship. That’s why I got three new rompers and a bikini wax.
A Slate of Upcoming Films From the Producers Who Brought You “Long Shot”
When Allisyn awakens in his bedroom filled with Reservoir Dogs posters and empty Gatorade bottles, she’s charmed. Starring Gal Gadot and Seth Rogen.
We’re Saluting Maritime Erotica All This Month on Turner Classic Movies
All Hands on Dick, a film that French director Georges Méliès called, “The most stimulating cinematic treasure since my The Conquest of the Pole.”
Rotten Tomatoes Reviews of “Avengers: Endgame” or Thoughts You Had After Sex?
Absolutely fantastic, although there were some pacing issues in the beginning. I laughed, cried and experienced everything in-between.
“You’ll Want to Learn Guitar Immediately,” and Other Fatherly Advice
Now’s the time to fix your emotional, psychic, and spiritual energy on a single person who thinks of you as the weird and moderately asexual kid.
It’s Me, the Dog at the Foot of Your Bed, and I’d Love to Get In On That Sex You’re Having
I am DIGGING the sounds and stinks coming from you two and am very excited to join in! I’ve been wagging my tail so hard it’s giving me a rug burn.
Modern Equivalents to “Reading Playboy for the Articles”
Scrolling through Twitter for the news. Driving a Tesla for the environment. Living with six roommates for the camaraderie.
Dreams Interpreted By Your Aunt From Massachusetts
Falling: Your subconscious is saying that you need to go back to school or enlist. You’re falling away from your stupid wakeboarding career.
Trump’s Border Wall is Definitely a Metaphor, and I’m Definitely Not Riding Your Husband Like He’s a Clydesdale Taking Me West
“What is it, sugar bean?” your husband said while massaging my back. Again, we’re speaking in metaphor. This can mean whatever you want it to mean!
I’m the Hot Doctor on This Network Hospital Show and I’m Breaking All the Rules Today
ALL of our doctors are SEXY, except for the uptight woman in neurology. Don't worry, she'll BECOME sexy when I convince her to take off her glasses.
Creative Ways to Get Out of Conversations With Men Who Just Learned Who Nietzsche Is
Ask if his idea of the Übermensch is also white, ya know, like he is. No way to cut off an Aryan like bringing up the Holocaust.