Aliens Exist… and They’re Freaking Babes
Atheists say there are no higher powers, but the first time you see a Neptoid’s sponges you’ll realize atheists don’t know shit.
Tag: Sex
Finding Love Is Hard So We, the Makers of “Love Is Blind,” Have Decided to Make It So Much Harder
We give single people a chance to fall in love by making sure they are distracted by a bunch of petty in-fighting and random side-eye.
If This Van’s a Rockin’, Then Don’t Come a Bothering Me While I Try to Fuck This Van
I’m a lover, but that doesn't mean I don’t have boundaries. So I set in place this one simple rule to make sure no one is allowed to disturb me.
How Dare You Accuse Me, Bro Country Star Tripp Haystack, of Misogynistic Lyrics?
When people told me they thought this song was about sexual relations, this corn-shuckin’ country boy was shocked.
We Need to Talk About Your Behavior at Our “Eyes Wide Shut” Parties
One member described you as having "the chirpy positivity of a high school debate team coach."
An Oral History of Your Conception
Jerry Kaufman (Your Dad): Did I think we were going to conceive a child during the Insurance Adjusters of American Convention? No.
Post-Coital Word Choices, Analyzed by WordleBot
“YIKES” Really? Of the 2,309 possible Wordle solutions out there, this is not the one we would have picked to say to our partner.
Sir, I Am Not Pleasuring Myself to the Pin-up Girls Painted on the Side of the Warplanes, Sir
WHY DO YOU HAVE YOUR PANTS DOWN TO YOUR ANKLES, PRIVATE?
Quarterback Audibles Around the In-Laws
How can someone from Nebraska not want to talk about football, like, at all?
Classic Hollywood-Inspired Sex Moves That Don’t Involve Sex
The Fade-to-Black: Slowly dim the lights while you engage in suggestive banter, such as, “Hello there, big boy.” That’s all.
Topics That Are Too Freudian to Discuss on a First Date: A Comprehensive Guide
-The “proper” way to peel a banana (other fruits and vegetable should be fine) -Organized religion -The taste, texture, or general concept of milk
A Template for Confessing Your Infidelity and/or Announcing You Are the New Pope
I think we can all agree: it is odd how a single (accidental text message / vote with my fellow Cardinals) can change the course of history