Sex | Page 9 | Points in Case

Tag: Sex

Maybe you’re freaked out to think of accountants as sexual creatures. You want us always hunched over ledgers, never over your sweet, pliable body.

The process of picking one menu item reminded your wife of how she did not have to pick just one Pep Boy, since they are all polyamorous.

Every day that my knob is turned, I wheeze, I cough, calling out for help, but they can’t hear me scream over their thrifted Bob Dylan record.

Celebrity Talking Over Celebrity: For those of you wondering, what’s that actor from that movie doing these days? Well… it’s this!

I apologize, she giggles and our shared weakness for Snickerdoodles suggests we will fall madly in love by Christmas. Her name is Lacey Sherbert.

I feel like you're not fully inhabiting the space here. / This does absolutely nothing for me. / Wait, it's not over yet?

“I don’t want to come off as needy so I’ve been sitting on this text for precisely 72 hours since our last hang.”

"Karma Chameleon": A gay man falls in love with a faithless reptile who comes and goes, comes and goes.

I think you are so unintelligent that I can change your opinion on something like a fannypack by creating a commercial that depicts trendy values.

Bra-Sizing Woman: She looks young, maybe eighteen, and I wonder to myself if this might be illegal.

We’ve determined that the situation you’ve described does not qualify as Friendship and maybe you should just get a dog. Or a better vibrator.

Do you promise to never fake orgasms or moon landings? Will you open your heart to your spouse’s family, friends, and cabals?