Dear Mob, I’m Sorry I Forgot to Throw That Fight
I offered to go back into the ring and pretend to get knocked out, but it was too late, especially since I had already taken my shoes and socks off.
Tag: Sports
Forgive Me, I Ran a Charity 5K but Didn’t Cure Any Diseases
After my performance last Saturday, I cannot in good conscience accept this participation ribbon.
Online Sports Betting Needs to Be Tightly Regulated Right After This Eagles Game Wraps Up
See, right there, when A.J. Brown caught that deep ball! Did you feel that? That can’t be healthy.
I Didn’t Join This Dodgeball League for Christian Singles to Make Friends
I like to say we should glorify God in everything we do, but is it really “glorifying” the Lord when you’re sucking major ass in the dodgeball arena?
San Francisco Could Be a Great City, If It Weren’t for Their Baseball Team’s Mascot
Lou had the t-shirt cannon, we made hard eye contact, and then he shoots the cannon in the complete opposite direction.
The World Yacht Tipping Finals, Only on WhaleWorld Sports Network
Throwing out the ceremonial sea lion is actor Brendan Fraser, who starred in "The Whale" and has been known to compete in yacht tipping competitions himself.
Parents, Unfortunately We Are Disbanding Our School’s Curling Team
Mr. Jensen has not won eight gold medals in curling. In fact, it’s unclear whether or not Mr. Jensen has even seen curling before.
Eight Bowling Alley Animations That I Regret Making for PinBuddies Entertainment Between 2000 and 2010
Later I realized the pins shouldn’t have had an extended death sequence where they struggle on the ground pleading for their life.
Congrats, You’ve Made It to the Majors
It’s not all caviar and champagne; just some of it--like 40 percent. SHUT UP! Don’t speak. I have a lot to say.
What I Think It Would Be Like to Be Athletic
I'm an athletic person so the sweatband is useful and does not look like the beginnings of a goofy '80s Halloween costume.
NBA Scouting Reports of Famous Historical Figures
Jesus Christ brings a robust following as well as the ability to do some pretty amazing things off the court.
EA Sports Announces New, Relatable Slate of Games
Company Softball Team 5000: Play as Herb from Accounting, who has a bad back and will inevitably have to sit out most of the innings.