My High School Football Halftime Championship Speech
It ain't the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. I know because my cousin operates an underground dog fighting ring.
Tag: Sports
6 Reasons Your Ugly-Cry at This Basketball Game is Ruining My Life
Going for that peak-psycho ugly-cry in a public place surrounded by crazy sports fans probably isn't going to score you any "girlfriend points."
Dear X Games, Allow Me to Injure Myself for You
Here's the problem with your skateboarders: they make it look too easy. Let me attempt to skateboard and faceplant all over the place, for the ratings.
Why My Tennis Instructor Abandoned Me
Sometimes two people stop talking to each other, and there isn't even a big argument at the end. They just avoid each other, forever.
The Genius of Ryan Lochte
Shit, Jeff. I'm dead on my feet, bro. I'm exhausted. I want to go back to the Village with the guys and get some sleep and pretend this never happened.
6 Things I Can Do That Michael Phelps Can’t
Though his superior respiratory system makes him the perfect specimen in and out of a Speedo, there are, however, still some things I can do that Michael Phelps can't.
The Olympic Sport That Transcends the World
It's the most demanding, stressful, scary, humbling, embarrassing and brutally honest test of your strength of character and ability to fight through pain to finish a race.
I Am Your Father’s Man Cave
When your dad turned 48, he felt a helpless desperation welling up in his chest. Now, this giant marble sculpture of Dolph Lundgren's abs fill the void.
Living With My Boyfriend’s Hulkamania
On the surface, it would probably seem that my boyfriend Jack and I have the perfect relationship. Lurking beneath the surface, however, is a dark, WWE-related secret.
Trump Beach Volleyball
A three-on-three volleyball game is about to start in the sand only a seashell's toss from the Trump Ocean. Ben Carson, John Kasich, Marco Rubio, and Chris Christie are there.
Trump vs. America: The Boxing Match of the Century
In the left corner, weighing in at 225 pounds, the outspoken real estate tycoon egotist, Donald Trump. And in the right corner, weighing in at 50 trillion, the native land, USA.
Invite People You Don’t Like to Your Super Bowl Party
Make sure there is tension and discomfort between every person you invite that has either never been addressed or won’t be resolved.