I Am Become Kiss Cam Operator, The Destroyer of Worlds
You shall witness a heart shape on the monitor, surrounding you and your beloved. And you shall kiss. For I have commanded it.
Tag: Sports
5 Reasons Why I Will Continue to Give All I Have Coaching Water Polo to Youth
I stay up nights worried that my boys will not strive to be anything more than the chairman of the board of directors for a Fortune 500 trans-Atlantic conglomerate.
13 Signs Jerry Jones Formed a Pact with Satan
Something extremely odd and unsettling happened with the Cowboys this year. We all know what, but the question is "HOW??"
Snowboarding 101: A Crash Course for Beginners
Assuming you make it to the top of the mountain, strap yourself into your deathboard, making sure you have no feeling in your feet, then just go for it dude.
My High School Football Halftime Championship Speech
It ain't the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. I know because my cousin operates an underground dog fighting ring.
6 Reasons Your Ugly-Cry at This Basketball Game is Ruining My Life
Going for that peak-psycho ugly-cry in a public place surrounded by crazy sports fans probably isn't going to score you any "girlfriend points."
Dear X Games, Allow Me to Injure Myself for You
Here's the problem with your skateboarders: they make it look too easy. Let me attempt to skateboard and faceplant all over the place, for the ratings.
Why My Tennis Instructor Abandoned Me
Sometimes two people stop talking to each other, and there isn't even a big argument at the end. They just avoid each other, forever.
The Genius of Ryan Lochte
Shit, Jeff. I'm dead on my feet, bro. I'm exhausted. I want to go back to the Village with the guys and get some sleep and pretend this never happened.
6 Things I Can Do That Michael Phelps Can’t
Though his superior respiratory system makes him the perfect specimen in and out of a Speedo, there are, however, still some things I can do that Michael Phelps can't.
The Olympic Sport That Transcends the World
It's the most demanding, stressful, scary, humbling, embarrassing and brutally honest test of your strength of character and ability to fight through pain to finish a race.
I Am Your Father’s Man Cave
When your dad turned 48, he felt a helpless desperation welling up in his chest. Now, this giant marble sculpture of Dolph Lundgren's abs fill the void.