Invite People You Don’t Like to Your Super Bowl Party
Make sure there is tension and discomfort between every person you invite that has either never been addressed or won’t be resolved.
Tag: Sports
3 Homemade Concoctions Baseball Players Can Use to Beat Steroids Tests
Sadly, the MLB's testing system has caught up with all the concoctions players have injected into their rumps. Here is a list of three homemade recipes for success.
My Personal Beef with Cole Hamels
After about half an hour on hold, the host of the radio show finally came through and asked me: "What's your beef with Philadelphia sports?" Cole Hamels of course.
Golf is for Retards
I don't understand the concept of the handicap in golf. The more you suck, the more strokes you can deduct? What if I can't play at all? Do I automatically win?
CrossFit is a Cult
Did you hear the one about the woman who was engaged to a man who decided to marry CrossFit instead? Settle in, I'll tell you her story.
Bruce Jenner’s Sixth Grade Essay Reveals Life Goals
A woman is who I am. It's a basic instinct. It’s all I've ever wanted. Not the Gold Medal. That was a digression. Womanhood is my favorite neighborhood.
I’ll (Probably) Never Be a Professional Wrestler
When I was 14, I WAS a wrestling superstar. I was “Blade” in my own wrestling federation, FWC. But I'm 27 now, and let's face it, I'll probably never wear a gold belt.
There is Life After Golf, Tiger Woods
Everybody breaks down eventually, Tiger. Welcome to life as most of us know it: strugglers, not great at what we do, practicers but not masters.
Calling All Game Changers
Game changing is the in-vogue phrase to use to sound "with it," to describe something that, whether a game changer or not, gets labeled a game changer.
The Religious Dream Team Starting Lineup
Like the 1992 Men's Olympic Basketball Team, if we take the best parts of every religion to form one "Dream Team Religion," I'd actually consider being a part of that.
SEC Football: The Most Disconcerting But True Stereotypes of All 14 Schools
<p>Not all stereotypes of the South are necessarily true. We're not all overweight and stupid, and believe it or not, we don't all vote against our own self-interest. It might even come as surprise that the majority of Southerners have all of their teeth. But we do all have racist grandparents and an unhealthy obsession with college football.</p>
My Introduction to YMCA Summer Camp and Adult Penises
These were the first adult penises I'd ever seen, and as an 8-year-old, it scared me enough to make me avoid changing in locker rooms for the rest of my life.