18 Reasons to Believe Peyton Manning is Actually a Cyborg
Tony Dungy wants to take over the world for religious purposes; Peyton Manning wants to take over the world for world domination purposes.
Tag: Sports
Why You Have a Hard-On for Fantasy Football
The combination of instant gratification and illusion of power is what makes Fantasy Football the cyber-Viagra that it is. You are the coach, the GM, and the cheerleader.
No Kids, We’re Not Going to Round Table Pizza After the Game
The Padres have developed a bit of a reputation as the "loser squad," and I wish I could say it's not deserved, but you boys are absolutely pathetic at baseball.
Why You’re a Terrible Person for Complaining About New NFL Safety Rules
Whiny, self-involved fans complain that new NFL rule changes make the game "not as fun anymore." Yeah, and we all used to LOVE smoking on airplanes too.
Lance Armstrong Has Always Been a Douchebag
Lance Armstrong is a an egotistical, hypocritical, lying, cheating, criminal, douchebag, drug addict... who also raised money for cancer.
Highly Unconventional Super Bowl XLVII Drinking Game
What you need: one drink per person, one hurricane cocktail for every table, and residual enthusiasm from when you initially learned Tom Brady wasn't in the Super Bowl.
Is Chris Berman an NFL Sex Addict?
Talking about football on television gets Chris Berman so steamy under the collar that it makes you wonder just what he was up to during the commercial break.
Shit Little League Parents Say
Having little experience and less aptitude, parents are always firing baseball pointers from the stands during a showdown between two groups of mediocre 11- to 12-year-olds.
7 Things Every Classic Bowling Alley Should Have
Everything about a classic bowling alley screams "unchanged." The decor is 70's, the musty smoke and shoe odor still penetrates, and the food worse than you could imagine.
The Biggest Fight of His Career: Muhammad Ali vs. Poetry
For years Muhammad Ali was challenged by the elusive simile. He was plagued by its power, unable to express his unorthodox fighting style with poignant, poetic beauty.
If the NFL Was More Like the WWE
What if the NFL took the plunge and tried to be a tenth as interesting and intelligent as professional wrestling? This is what it would look like.
Just Win, Baby! The Unofficial Guide for the New Oakland Raider Fan
Congratulations, of all 32 NFL teams, you decided to cheer for the Oakland Raiders! As a long-time Raiders fan, I've created this guide to help accelerate your assimilation into the Raider Nation.