Congratulations, of all 32 NFL teams, you decided to cheer for the Oakland Raiders! As a long-time Raiders fan, I've created this guide to help accelerate your assimilation into the Raider Nation.
All the dusty, gold-plated, tomboy-shaped trophies that define how cool I used to be are, sadly, probably sitting on the shelves of poor children who didn't earn them.
Imagine how stupid you would look if you fell on the ground flailing and crying, accusing a guy 20 meters away from you of foul play. The same goes for sex.
<p><img src="https://www.pointsincase.com/files/u2/sidney-crosby-show.jpg" alt="How'd he get my physique?" width="275" height="403" /></p><p>(Got your attention? Good.)</p>
<div ><p >Washington Wizard guards Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton recently got into a small disagreement over Arenas owing Crittenton $25,000 in gambling debt, an argument that ended in the teammates <a href="http://deadspin.com/5438384/gilbert-arenas-and-teammate-in-gun-standoff-update?skyline=true&s=x">pulling fucking guns on each other in the Wizards locker room</a>.
All nations, with the possible exception of Switzerland, can lay claim to some retardedly dangerous activity. Here's a look at 4 of the most ridiculous ones.
If EA Sports continues making new football video games as hard as this one, you're gonna have to put your fingers through spring training.
ESPN used to be the champion of balanced sports coverage. Ahh, there's nothing sadder than watching an old competitor let himself go.
A rundown on TO hype, a new kind of halftime disaster, the potential for rioting, and a lop-sided victory already in the works.
They don't call it 'the big O' for nothing. That's right, it's all the excitement of the Olympics balled up into one tantalizing acrostic.
We won the war, we drive on the right side of the road, and we could care less about Victoria Beckham. Clearly, the U.S. is better than England.
Merry St. Louis Cardinal Christmas