We’ve Made a Few Cutbacks to This Season’s Promotional Schedule
Tie-Dye Sonics Blindfold: Take a moment to soak in the game-day atmosphere by succumbing to all of your other senses.
Tag: Sports
Pickleball: A Guide for Those Who Are Confused
Slang names for pickleball include lazy tennis, geriatric badminton, and "a weak excuse to drink Gatorade."
The People Who Will Beat You in the Thanksgiving Half Marathon for Which You’ve Trained for Months
- A nine-year-old who will be upset later that there’s no gravy for his potato volcano
I’m the New York City Marathon, and We Need to Set Some Boundaries
This is progressing faster than I can manage—remember, I’m a marathon, not a sprint.
What I Said in the Handshake Line After the Hockey Game Where I Told the Media We’d Win, Sang a Taunting Rendition of the National Anthem, Talked Way Too Much Trash, and Lost Fifteen to Zero
Good game, I didn’t mean what I said when I said, “We’re gonna kill this sorry ass team!”
Meet the Harlem Globetrotters of Redacted Documents!
Did You Know? "Stress Ball" is indirectly responsible for the death of ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛!
My Sports Analogies Are Much More Sophisticated than You Think, You Losers
Allison in HR gave me the full-court press and explained that some of you think my sports analogies are creating a toxic workplace.
With a Cursory Knowledge of 3D Animation and a Controlled Dose of a Psychoactive Substance, I’m the Man for Your Bowling Alley Score Screen Needs
You are entropy incarnate. Which is captured much more accurately by this clip of a frog with long, sexy lady legs that burps up the word "Strike."
This Moving Half-Time Speech Failed to Inspire a High School Football Team Just Because They Saw Their Coach Kick a Dog Through the Goalpost Before the Game
First off, I didn’t know anybody was watching. And never in a million years would I have guessed that the penalty would be the loss of one hundred points for our team.
After Yet Another Workplace Accident, NASA Is Banning the Following Basketball Moves
Projections show that if the current situation is allowed to continue without intervention, the vibes at NASA could reach weird levels.
A Eulogy for Tom Brady (1977-2296)
When Tom first started playing, there were no 5th downs or 100-yard field goals. And every game took place on Earth, where gravity was a huge factor.
Broadcast of a Baseball Game Between Dads Checking on a Sound in the Middle of the Night with Baseball Bats and Louisville Slugger Factory Workers Who Test Bats for Quality Assurance
The dads effectively hit everything except the ball causing a lot of property damage while the factory workers could not settle on a bat.