The party was going to have two different kinds of ice cream cake. / I had serious concerns whether Dennis Rodman was going to be a good roster fit.
If you spilled Narragansett on the flag upon learning the Joker wasn’t from New England or you ripped the flag when you heard Barstool writers were unionizing.
Episode 4 – Karl Malone discovers the 3rd person POV literary device and begins using it in interviews. Stockton reinvigorates his Catholicism.
Before coffee, I’m, like, a zombie feeding on its own, like… brains or whatever, and struggling to complete straightforward zombie analogies.
Fifty Best Books of the 2010s: Uh-oh, might as well skip this listicle. We both know you didn’t read fifty books in the 2010s.
Celebrity Talking Over Celebrity: For those of you wondering, what’s that actor from that movie doing these days? Well… it’s this!
Despite his worldwide fame and success in other sports leagues, Jordan has racked up an abysmal 0 total NHL goals.
Redoing my will tomorrow. I may need your social security number. Don’t text it! / I just watched Get Out. Excellent.
"Unless this is some sort of street lingo I need to brush up on, I think you may have accidentally contacted me. LOL!"
Heather vs Joe: These singles are set to meet on Thursday to open Week 8 and it’s expected to be a close one, as they both have a fondness for PDA.
Some of these are horses that made the turns and came out on top. Some are turns of phrase associated with a horse still in the running.
You are supposed to be here no matter what the Space Squids wrote on your locker in 4-dimensional ink that you had to get a Helper-Droid to translate.