A Recruitment Letter from the Williams College Combat Juggling Team
I caught your last prep school match against Groton, and let me be plain: you are a truly gifted combat juggler, a “once-in-a-century” talent.
Tag: Sports
Oh, the Hoodies I’ve Found
1. Sept 5, 2000 - The Band One / Identifying Marks: Your HS boyfriend’s crappy ska band logo. / Acquired From: Back seat of said boyfriend’s POS car.
Oh, the Hoodies I’ve Lost
1. August 8, 1996 - The Maroon One / Identifying Marks: Band logo on the front. / Missing From: Back seat of your POS first car.
Baseball Fans Struck by Foul Thoughts While Just Trying to Enjoy a Ballgame
The crowd exploded, and it hit me: the game is going into extra innings, and I’m going to have to endure another four torturous years of Trump.
I’m Not Like Other Girls, I’m a Reptilian Agent Sent to Destroy Humankind
I don’t dress for the male gaze. I dress to cover my biohazardous innards so no one detects I’m a heat-seeking scaled creature.
Illness-Related Feats I Accomplished at Work That Are Equivalent or Better Than Michael Jordan’s Flu Game
How about some credit for processing all invoices while my boss lectured me on "eating too many microwaved oyster and pastrami sandwiches at work"?
Microaggressions Endured By the Defending Champion US Women’s National Soccer Team
Stadium security: It’s dangerous, wearing something that makes you look that good. Did you get all dolled up just for me, honey?
I Am a Dad in a Kohl’s Father’s Day Ad
I’m smiling so big because I can’t wait to bite into these steaks. Just kidding! I’m a vegetarian but that doesn’t poll well with our target audience.
Join Our Revolutionary Kneepad Startup (And Intramural Beach Volleyball Team)
Some other work perks include unlimited time off (as long as it's spent at a beach volleyball camp) and partial reimbursement for uniform fees.
The USA is the Greatest Country in the World But Those Soccer Girls Need to Be Nicer
Competition makes the American dream real! But fighting to break records early in international competition while defending your title… isn’t classy.
Sports Quotes Informed by Political Philosophy
"That ball was on the line! And the whole question of borders comes from an outmoded hermeneutic treating the nation-state as a discreet actor."
Soccer Stadium or Game of Thrones Location?
Are you adept enough to distinguish these English football stadiums from locations in Westeros and Essos?