U.S. Presidents Order at Starbucks
Ulysses S. Grant: A cup of whole beans--Starbucks Christmas Blend--to eat raw as he squashes his enemies.
Tag: Starbucks
On the Dangerous Rise of Oat Milk, From Almond Milk
I had hoped the craze would die out before needing to call an emergency meeting at the alternative milk headquarters, the Portland Trader Joe's.
Although I Have Been Dead for Over a Decade, I Still Rise from My Grave Every Fall for a Pumpkin Spice Latte
Climbing out of my grave, I savor the autumn air before dusting off my outfit: an oversized cardigan, plaid scarf, Uggs, and Lululemon leggings.
A Day in the Life of a Hollywood Assistant in Quarantine
Charge your own phone so it is 207% charged at all times. It is important because you need to keep reminding the boss to charge her own phone.
Ken Burns Presents: Letters from the Privileged Quarantine Homefront
Dear Ma, It's bad out there. The Trader Joe's frozen aisle was completely decimated: no cauliflower crust pizza in sight.
Exam for the New Government-Issued License to Be an Asshole
3. How often are you an asshole? I would say whenever I’m conscious, but I can be fairly verbally abusive in my dreams.
The Late Capitalist Horror of Mary Shelley’s Franken-Frappuccino
It agitated its shimmery surface, and with a convulsive motion, sprang to life. “BEHOLD, I AM THE TYE-DIE FRAPPUCCINO,” it roared.
How to Get to Places Other Than Carnegie Hall
How to get to Music Hall of Williamsburg: Practice, check into rehab for heroin addiction, practice some more.
Shout-Outs to All the Special Guys Exhibiting Common Human Decency
How about a round of applause for the Starbucks barista who didn’t ask what else I like strong and hot on a summer afternoon.
Secret Starbucks Menu Items for Assholes
This secret menu item is complicated, multi-layered, bold, and bitter: it’s perfect for the starving artist (because it’s got 12 grams of protein).
If Howard Schultz Won’t Screw Up This Election by Running as a Democratic-Leaning Independent, Then I, David Hoffmann, President and CEO of Dunkin’ Donuts, Will
Howard and I both know the importance of symbolic gestures---have you ever ordered oatmeal at Dunkin’ or Starbucks? No. But you COULD!
Azor Ahai is the Coffee Cup in “Game of Thrones,” 100% Confirmed
Many viewers claim that this was an accident, but the truth is that every aspect of this show is meticulously planned including Ed Sheeran’s cameo.