How the Vikings Squandered America
Thor, Thorvald, Thorrson, Thorfinn and crew had the New World in their grasp, save for one crucial mistake.
Tag: Stories
The Real Reason Trump Won Was Because Betsy Miller Turned Me Down in the Sixth Grade, and Don’t Let Anybody Tell You Otherwise
I've cracked the case wide open. It all traces back to the 1998 Tropical Para-Dance at Windy Meadow Middle School.
So Your Professor Dreams All Came Crashing Down in One Ugly Q&A
Bruce stood on the stage of the auditorium drenched in sweat, silently waving with his fake ass smile plastered on while the crowd sat in silence horrified.
If You’ve Only Got One Arm, You’re Not Typically the Kind of Guy Who’s Gonna Be a Hollywood Actor
Bjarne says that there are so many other guys out there with two arms that it puts you at a big disadvantage if you only have one.
The Good Life with My Rich Wife
Janine, love of my life, woman of my dreams, hired a ball grabber for me. I didn't even know those women existed until I met her.
How to Import a Dagger Without Getting Arrested
It is difficult to describe the expression on a security guard’s face when you run a backpack with a 17-inch dagger through the x-ray machine.
Am I Turning Into My Dad?
"My head is too big to fit into women's frames," I told the eyecare associate. "But it’s still not big enough to break the glass ceiling."
An Open Letter to Jay-Z and Beyoncé, My Roommates’ Neglected Cats
At night you claw at my door to let you in, hoping in vain that you might find more affection from me. It's become too much really.
Horny Bulgarian Women Looking to Fuck Near You!
I never wanted to be the jealous girlfriend, but the first thing I did when my boyfriend moved to Bulgaria is Google "Are Bulgarian women hot?"
A Young Man’s First Period
Even as an 8-year-old boy, I knew that having my period would make me a man; it was the first step to becoming an adult.
Parrots are Assholes
When Mom came home from the swap meet with a trio of parrots, I was stoked. But it didn't take long for me to realize one thing: parrots are assholes.
I Lost a Silver Bullet in My Butt
Over time, you tend to become more and brave with the vibrating pleasure bullet. Sticking him in places where you feel pretty safe he'll pop right back out.