The Universe Tells Me
I doubt it would cook up an abundance of hate to overpower the abundance of love. It would be so not like the universe to fuck with abundance.
Tag: Stress
An Amazon Warehouse Worker’s Year-In-Review Analytics
Suicides contemplated: 24 That’s 2 better than last year. Thank God we re-installed the AC. AMZN Note: EMPLOYEES WHO COMMIT SUICIDE WILL BE TERMINATED
A Few Quick Notes About Your Son’s “Tree #2” Role in His 6th Grade Play, From Me, The Lead’s Mother
Diane, your son is an expressionless stump on stage (no pun intended). I can’t stress this enough. He looks like a dead, lifeless boy.
Five People on Your Holiday Shopping List Who Would Want My Copy of “Timesplitters 2”
Your Rabbi: The Talmud teaches many things, but it doesn’t teach how to destroy the attack helicopter on the roof of the “Oblask Dam” level.
GPS Lite: The Navigation System That Doesn’t Know Where You’re Going
Wondered what it would be like to get directions from that one friend who’s confident they know where you’re going but “could be a few blocks off”?
My Daily Skincare Routine, Post-Nuclear Holocaust
I don’t have to worry about sun protection because we are not even sure the sun exists anymore.
Writers With Benefits
Section 3: Foreplay: All types of textual foreplay is permitted, such as feeling really guilty when asking for feedback on their TV pilot.
Night at the Museum: Constitutional Crisis
Twenty-first Amendment (Abolition of Prohibition) This former frat-bro is a highly functioning alcoholic. Currently a member of the federal judiciary.
Relaxation Techniques For When You’re Feeling Anxious or Looting a Radio Shack
Remain present as you haul ass down the aisles, reminding yourself to stay in the moment as you sweep armfuls of electronics into a burlap sack.
Derry, Maine Real Estate Listings
I know what you're thinking: “A whole mansion for just $150! What a deal! I wonder if the low price has anything to do with that horrifying clown!”
Hello, I’m the Witch in Your Hall Closet
Finally, I'll have sated my 200-year-old appetite, fulfilled a centuries-old curse, and your family's financial situation will stabilize.
This Whole Flood Thing Sounds Pretty Bogus
It rains all the time and sometimes floods, but it’s never awful, so it wouldn’t surprise me if our Heavenly Father said this purely to make a fuss.