This Zoom Catch-Up Seems Like the Perfect Opportunity to Humblebrag About Why I’m Not Eligible for the Vaccine Yet
I’ve got a six-pack and hands that are strong but somehow also soft. Does that seem like someone who needs the vaccine right now?
I’ve got a six-pack and hands that are strong but somehow also soft. Does that seem like someone who needs the vaccine right now?
Two Raccoons Occupying Backyard: Why does Staten Island have so many raccoons? “Occupying”…Sounds like “Occupy Wall Street.”
What happened to your MySpace account. What your mother-in-law tells her book club about you. Why you argued with your parents last week.
Listen, you're already on thin ice with me. You and I both know this ain't the first time we've found ourselves here.
Let me know how I can be of use. Today’s Tip: You’re spending too much time on Twitter at the expense of your personal relationships!
BrickUp developed bricks large enough to destroy data centers, but small enough to conceal from evil clones of Regis Philbin.
Does he have his phone? A) Yes and he’s very active on a thread about sending things down "The Alaska Pipeline." B) Negative. There’s no 5G in 0g.
You’ve sworn you’ve heard the unmistakable “thunk” of a peg-leg issuing from their mic on more than one Zoom call.
I scroll through my Venmo feed with fervor, finding out more about your lives from a cash app than I do from the photos you share on Instagram.
You should be begging on your hands and knees for help. Pathetic. And deep down, you’re scared.
I lost motivation for my role of being the embodiment of vanity. To put it lightly: remote work has challenged the core values I once held dear.
I can survive at a depth of six meters under water up to 30 minutes, unlike your ex who just quit it over a spilled lemonade.