The Unexpected Things That Will Happen When You Buy Those Used Bagpipes on Facebook Marketplace
You'll mistakenly think the reeds are developing some exotic flavor. Nope --It's mold. Another thing you neglected, like your "check engine" light.
Tag: Tech
Help! How Do I Fix the Question Mark Button on My KeyboardÉ
I mean, how am I supposed to ask Jillian how her pregnancy is coming alongÉ And answering knock-knock jokes is now completely out of the question.
I’m Replacing Your Zoom Cooking Instructor, But I’ve Never Seen This Recipe Before, So Bear with Me
Oh. This is chicken marsala? I thought Chelsea said “chicken, more salsa!” That’s fine. Shouldn’t be too different.
What I Imagine a Slow News Day Is Like
7:45 AM: I turn the TV on while I make breakfast. The hosts are showing how to make crab cakes for fifteen minutes straight.
An Open Letter to the Guy Who Receives Self-Help Tips from the Pornhub Comment Section
We sympathize that you've lost “thousands of comments I need to get through the daily existential dread,” we have a moral obligation to protect our users.
Russian Hackers Also Condemn the U.S. Government’s Weak Response to Their Recent Cyber Attack
Nobody likes working a job where their accomplishments go unrecognized or unnoticed, covert Russian hackers included.
One-Star Yelp Reviews of Heaven
I would have given zero stars if I could! It’s really amazing what’s “not an option” up here.
A Request from the 9 Tabs You’ve Had Open Since July
We know you opened us with the best of intentions but let’s be honest, if you haven’t read us by now you never will.
Everything in the Notes App on Your Phone
Journal entries dissecting a previous relationship / Bad poetry / Concerns to share with doctor / Reminder to self to be more crafty
What Your Favorite Coronavirus Vaccine Says About You
AstraZeneca: As a gentleman of an Eton and Oxbridge pedigree, you take pride in dignified indolence. Why give it your all when 70% is just fine?
Welcome, Santa’s Workshop, to the Amazon Corporate Family
Does this mean Santa's Workshop will close? Santa's Workshop will live on as a digital storefront competing with hundreds of counterfeiters.
An Open Letter to All the Men I’ve Loved Before, Who Are Unaware We’re Currently Dating
I’m disappointed that after our four-message exchange about how our weekends went, you haven’t proposed. It’s been almost a year, after all.