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Tag: Tech
Why I Decided to Get My MFA in Satisfying Videos
At satisfying video school, I got to nerd out with fellow satisfying video geeks over the differences in crunch between Kinetic Sand and Madmattr.
I Will Die Immediately If You Don’t Like My Fake LinkedIn Story
Instead of saying “Yes, would you be available on Friday?”, I accidentally replied, “You’re a disgusting pig, your entire existence is meaningless.”
Believable Fake Identities You Can Use to Catfish Your Ex
Despite his many attempts, your ex will never so much as FaceTime with Mia, because her iPhone “can’t take calls outside the Pacific Time Zone.”
Our New Hiring Practices at This Growing Company in a Fast-Paced Industry
Cover letters ARE required. But we will not be reading them. Never read a cover letter. This will only complicate your decision-making process.
Awkward Conversations With Your Self-Driving Uber
You: Uber, why are we taking Broadway? Uber: We are briefly stopping at your ex-girlfriend Karen’s house on the way. You two need to talk…
Incomplete Drafts of My Cover Letter for a Summer Internship
Dear Joan, I looked up your name on LinkedIn---because that’s how much I care about this job. I seriously need you to hire me.
Missed Connections: Millennials and an Affordable Housing Market
“Yo, it’s me: the brand-new condo that sits on the same lot that rent-controlled housing used to be on."
Blue Apron Continued to Deliver Me Food While I Disappeared From Thanos’ “Snap”
And you charged me for all of it?! That’s over $15,000! Listen, I’m not made of that Tony Stark money
I Caught a Self-Driving Car
You don't release a fleet of driverless vehicles on a city and not expect someone to try to lasso one and wrestle it to a stop.
Let’s Rebuild Our Infrastructure, U.S.A.-Style
If I were overseeing this initiative, I’d start with building more “natural” wonders. People seem to love lakes, mountains and caverns, right?
Amazon Delivery Options Based on Number of Likes on Jeff Bezos’ Cat’s Instagram Posts
501-1000 likes: Your package will be delivered by dedicated Piper Cub and guarded en route by a contingent of off-duty Allstate Security agents.