If I Spend 3-4 Hours Writing and Editing This Article, Do You Think She Will Have Texted Me Back By Then?
What Michelle needs to realize is that I’m not here to waste my time. But until she texts back, that's exactly what I'll be doing.
Tag: Tech
A Quick Reminder that Donald Trump’s Twitter is Amazingly Cringeworthy
Five tweets from Donald J. Trump that will satiate your internal yearning for coma-inducing cringe, or else shut down your computer.
Just Because I’m a Hot Girl with Huge Boobs Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Be My 38th Facebook Friend
Why does a beautiful girl like me only have 37 friends? Because I'm selective, that's why. Just click "confirm" already.
The Six Stages of Life According to the AARP Mail You’re Currently Receiving
Whatever fancy stuff you’ve been told about the progression of aging, is in reality too complicated. The real lies in your AARP mail.
The Pros and Cons of Each Generation from 1900-2200
Every generation has their ups and downs, but each possess some rather noteworthy attributes all their own.
I Am a Giant Asteroid Heading Towards Earth After the Horror Show That Was 2016: Ask Me Anything!
Soon I'll be eliminating all life on Earth, and there's nothing I can do to change course unfortunately. Any questions?
Michael Keaton White Noise Machine G-550 Owner’s Manual
Combines superior audio quality, advanced technology, and sterling highlights from Michael Keaton’s nearly 40 years in Hollywood!
Revocation of Parental Rights to Custody of Archival Images and History
Mom, Dad, this is your official notice that you are no longer in charge of my childhood photos and videos. Please turn them over immediately.
7 Emails Your Dad Sent You That are Sure to Bum You the Fuck Out
I know you're busy with your groovy friends probably listening to rap music, but your old man just thought he'd check in!
Mixer Helps Lonely Man Finally Surpass Father
A spur-of-the-moment party saves desperate, lonely man Danny Aleman from social oblivion and family patheticism.
Online Dating Made Me Realize I’m the One for Me
It was on my twelfth “cheat” sign-in to a dating site when I saw something that seemed utterly impossible: I matched with myself.
When I Started This Business, I Never Imagined Working for Myself
I had forgotten one important factor that may determine the outcome of my business: when it comes to work, I suffer from dissociative identity disorder.