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Tag: Tech
Common Complaints About Our Clones
My clone is always ill. Plus, our clones are deficient in blood, because we didn’t give them enough blood, so they are often woozy.
Guac: The Expense Tracking App for Buying More Guacamole
No more acting like you don’t want guacamole or pretending that if you get guacamole, it’ll make you too full.
So You Ignored the Warnings of That Dystopian Novel
Take some deep breaths and be mindful that there are several levels to the destruction you have wrought upon the one livable place we humans are aware of.
In the Metaverse, You Can Do Anything! Except Stop Being Depressed
Changing what you look like on the outside won’t change how you feel on the inside, but it’s still a ton of fun to adjust your avatar’s clothes.
As Your Virtual Doctor, I Can’t Give You the Results of Your Brain Surgery Until You Smash That “Like” Button
Patients need to smash that so my bosses can track the popularity of this service, which will result in more financial support from our advertisers.
Entrepreneur Seeks Low-Paid Assistant to Read His Mind
We’re looking for a problem-solver with a team-centered approach and supernatural powers.
Everything Is Fucked Up Right Now, but I Know What the World Needs: a Think Piece About Wordle
I have to throw in some buzzwords that make eyes glaze over—“pandemic winter,” “lockdown ennui,” and “cultural zeitgeist” should do the trick.
Jay Gatsby Tweets About Bitcoin
@JayGatsby: If getting rich off #Bitcoin is bootlegging then lock me up, old sport.
Ancient Runestone Coated in the Blood of Serpents vs. Duolingo
The act of searing the runestone to your forehead for eternity feels clunky compared to Duolingo’s smooth user interface.
An Open Letter to Whoever Keeps Hacking My Grandma’s Facebook
Is this just a money thing? Because I have the $5 birthday checks to prove this is a misguided venture.
Girl, I’m About to Slide into Your LinkedIn DMs
I’m checking out your fine-ass certifications, baby, and damn you’re proficient.