The 33rd Annual KC Birthday Bash, Part 2
My birthday is on December 31st, which is New Year’s Eve. There’s always a party, and 99% of the people in the world don’t need to work the next day. Woo hoo!
Tag: Thank Me Later
The 33rd Annual KC Birthday Bash
I hope you all realized you celebrated my birthday the same time you rang in the New Year! Here's how my night of annual double celebration debauchery began.
Why You Shouldn’t Fret That Your Boyfriend Grew a Beard
Being hirsute shouldn't be considered gross! Face fros are beautiful! They show hard work and dedication! And tons of other girlfriend-friendly stuff!
Excuses are Like Assholes
My schedule has been hectic for a few months. Here are some of my excuses for not entertaining you or giving you reasons to write pissy comments about my writing.
Celebrities I’ve Met, Part 3
Who better to entice kids to exercise than the baddest ass dude ever? The greatest actor ever? The greatest dude ever? This was who I met in elementary school.
Celebrities I’ve Met, Part 2
I've interviewed hundreds of people, having worked at a newspaper, and some of them happened to be famous, including Matt Stone and Rudy Guiliani.
Celebrities I’ve Met, Part 1
As an American in a foreign land, a question I hear a lot is, "Have you ever met any Hollywood celebrities?" As a newspaper reporter and a bartender, the answer is a resounding yes.
How Gangnam Style Has Taken Over Korea
While you may think "Gangnam Style" is hilarious, so much of the stuff in it is true about Korea: women do sexy yoga in the park, gangsters and fat guys sit in the sauna.
Halloween Headaches 2012
Being white, handsome, and taller than most locals, being disguised as Super Mario made me the most talked about item in Korean history.
Pre-Halloween Headaches 2012
Since I already owned the red hat and suspenders, and had grown a beard, I decided to dress up as Mario again this year, to the delight of every Korean person everywhere.
My Five-Month Late St. Paddy’s Day Story (Part 3 of 3)
It's always been a dream of mine to have a real Irishman say, "What's the crack-a-jay?" to me. And today it finally happened... by the bar bathroom urinal.
My Five-Month Late St. Paddy’s Day Eve Story (Part 2 of 3)
Sarah "Nailin'" Palin scooched up to me and dropped this line: "Hey. Are you gay?" And from that point on, the pornstar/Republican lookalike only got weirder with alcohol.