KC vs. Saint Peter: The Pearly Gates Challenge
So I finally died. It was pretty spectacular. But here's what happened when I finally arrived at the Pearly Gates, ready to party in Heaven.
Tag: Thank Me Later
KC and a Priest Walk Into a Bar
People expect me to rip on priests since I attended Catholic high school, but most are outstanding. Here are a few quotes from my favorite men of the cloth.
My Organs and I Turn 30
I'm only going to be in my 20's for ten more minutes and there's so much I wanted to do before I became irrelevant! Organs to the rescue.
Diary of a Hipster
Diary, I'm having an identity crisis. I want to branch out. I was thinking of getting really skinny, but wearing more clothes. Trendy is hard to do.
9 Shitty Movie Remakes I’d Be Cool With
Here are some crappy movies that, if remade, I can't imagine anybody would give a crap, because the original versions couldn't be any worse.
Meet Your Meats: The Carnivore’s Dilemma
I like animals a lot more than I like most people, but there are still some annoying beasts out there. Here's why I eat (or don't eat) each of these animals.
KC Travels Back in Time to Meet His High School Self
My roommate recently constructed a flux capacitor. And by coincidence, it sent me to Bismarck, ND to meet myself as a high school senior.
Cool People to Drink With, By Profession
As a bartender, people always ask me who's the most fun to drink with. Now, when faced with firemen, strippers, or Ultimate Fighters, you'll know who to choose.
Texts From Last Night (To Myself)
Since I'm too busy to carry a notebook or voice recorder, I send text messages to myself to remind me of funny column ideas or jokes. Here are some classics.
What I Did When I Turned 18
Whatever you do when you're 18, be sure not to go to prison, especially if you're a whiteboy. In the clink, YOU the motherfucking minority!
My Organs and I Drive to Denver
KC drives in his complete chick magnet Ford Focus on the highway during rush hour Denver traffic. His Organs insist on an RJO (Road Jerk Off).
My Organs and I Return… From the Dead
KC must get brains! With all this rigor mortis, it's like having a permanent boner! Bring on the dead chicks!