Patriotic Airlines Presents Mega-Patriot Credit Cards
In the event of a water landing, beneath your seat is a compartment that contains a credit card application in a waterproof pouch.
Tag: Travel
As Your Unpaid TSA Worker, I Will Be Confiscating a Lot More Than Your Liquids
I’ll be honest, we’re not going to give you back your shoes.
The 5 Best Garnishes for an Egg Salad Sandwich on the Subway
The "Egg on Egg Deluxe" is a regular egg that's been cured for two years and is dying to be enjoyed while crammed on the A train.
How My Wife Improved Robert Frost’s Most Famous Poem
Helen, Please call me Kenn. I spoke to my wife about the "situation." I feel like the least I can do is let you know what happened.
Happy New Year! Get Your Shit Together and Buy a Planner
DON'T: Try bullet journaling. Look, you can't even keep up with a pre-crafted planner, you think creating your own will go any better?
Items That the Hip, Gentrifying Café Sells
Non-Metal Recyclable Straws: Metal won't cut it for us because it is prone to rust! So, we have created a straw made from bricks. Can brick rust?
Our New TaskBezos Offerings
Visual Processing (1/20th of a Second): Jeff Bezos will register a piece of visual information, sending it up the ocular pathway to the brain.
Help! My Emotional Support Python is Killing Me!
Maybe, if you roll up your in-flight magazine and hit him really hard on the nose with your free hand--- Oh, Saint Jude! He’s unhinged his jaw now…
5 Reasons Why the Donner Party was Better Than Your Birthday Party
The Donner Party was a journey unlike any other in history. The best part is, they did the whole thing without fake crying or vlogging once.
GPS Lite: The Navigation System That Doesn’t Know Where You’re Going
Wondered what it would be like to get directions from that one friend who’s confident they know where you’re going but “could be a few blocks off”?
Last Year’s Cruise Ship Accident Will Not Affect How I Manage This Year’s Cruise Ships
Feel free to thumb through the 3,500-page book, "Extreme Survival Scenarios," which is now required reading. Feel free to hang out by the buffet.
How to Peg Your Partner: A Step-by-Step Guide
After the kids are asleep and your partner has put the Kindle aside, remark on the lack of sexual activity between the two of you. Your partner yawns.