A Few Thoughts About That Video You Recorded After My Root Canal
I will be sure to keep you updated on all the social metrics. I still care about you, and the kids (our kids), and our social media numbers.
Tag: Travel
Where to Summer During Today’s Blood Moon
Between Subway Stations: Because this blood moon is opposing Mercury in retrograde, all travel will become a Rube Goldberg-esque hellscape of delays and re-routes.
Introducing Rise™, the New Season by Starbucks
From our flagship hot beverage, Fiery Wrath Cappuccino™, to our new hellfire-baked goods, there’s something for everyone and everything and everytime!
How to Survive Summer 2018
If you’re tempted to see parallels between "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" and your country, limit it to the fact that Chris Pratt exists in both.
Our Airbnb’s Pre-Cleaning Fee Goes to Removing Every Trace of the Outside World
While our aesthetic up until about mid-2016 was "cozy cabin," our current aesthetic is more like "amicably abandoned sanitarium."
Announcing Our Official Decision Regarding Whether or Not to Have Children
Relatedly, I’m currently embroiled in a legal battle to divorce myself from my siblings to guarantee that I cannot be made an uncle against my will.
A Paleo-Diet Enthusiast Travels to the Paleolithic Era
I offended my hosts yesterday when I criticized their dining options. I guess they don't recognize a paleo guru when they see one.
Angry Tweets from a Passenger on the Oregon Trail
We only have 700 miles left! Might be dehydration or crippling fever but think I love these friggin people! Thank you @OTBoltWagons! #final4
Hey Bullies: Stay Off Our Beaches
How many times have you seen this: some jerk starts trying to drink all the ocean water because they don’t want the fish to have it.
Passive-Aggressive Storm Predictions
Let’s take a look at our international weather for all you lucky ducks who’re able to afford trips without forgoing health care for two months.
Advice From One Mad Scientist to Another: Don’t Open That Interdimensional Gateway
I’m not quite sure how to begin but I know too well how it ends: with tendrily monsters eating your loved ones.
New HGTV Shows That are Guaranteed Ratings Juggernauts
Fenrir and Sköll were raised by wolves in the New Mexico desert. Today, the feral sisters redesign homes for people who identify as animals.