Five Predicaments Every Pensive Pipe Smoker Will Acknowledge As Familiar
What should have been a detailed account of how you navigated the labyrinth of deception and red herrings is forever tainted by an itchy throat.
Tag: Travel
Incredibly Rude Responses to Perfectly Reasonable Job Applications
Firstly, the phrase, “I know all the words to 'Space Oddity'” is not the best way to start off an application to NASA.
New Economy Seating Options at United Airlines
Our Economy Basic passengers are seated in a section of the plane teeming with luxury-hungry wolves, starving for cherished Basic ticket-holders.
Why Buy a New Car When You Can Still Cruise in Your High School Clunker?
Now I know smart car person phrases like, “you can tell the water pump is going out when you press the radio button and water squirts out.”
The Diary of Elon Musk’s Space Mannequin
It was Lonny (that's what we called Elon) who pulled me from that dead-end mannequin job and gave me an opportunity to attend SpaceX Academy.
DS-1 Orbital Battle Station Airbnb Listing
A great place to stay on those days when you're in a bad mood and just "wanna kill everybody on the whole fucking planet."
I’m an Uber Customer Service Associate and I’ve Been on the Phone with Clint Eastwood for 3 Years
I saw my own reflection on the screen of my computer and I was reminded of the oath I took when I accepted this job at Uber.
I’ve Talked to the Aliens and They Say We’re Fucked
Contrary to popular opinion, the aliens said even doomsday preppers won't make it that far in an apocalypse. They were explicit on this.
Welcome to Amtrak’s “Quiet Car Chopped All-Stars: Fight Club”
The first rule of Amtrak's "Quiet Car Chopped All-Stars: Fight Club" is: Kindly shut the fuck up about everything. Enjoy bare-knuckle chef combat.
What to Make of America’s 2018 Olympic Men’s Curling Gold?
Facing 20 to 1 underdog odds, the American Men's Curling team somehow took down powerhouses like Canada and Roomba for the gold medal.
A Pitch for My TV Show “Finding Bigfoot and Also My Biological Parents If We Have Time”
The show aims to capture clear and undoctored footage of Bigfoot. Also, if we run into my biological parents along the way, that'd be pretty neat, too.
An Ode to the Five Pairs of Shoes Who’ve Been With Me Through Everything
I applaud you, as you were comfortable, people complimented you, and you made me appear like I had my shit together, which I did not.