I Am Your Luggage of Broken Dreams
My purple pom-pom has been on the handle and ready to go since March. The places you take me, I would never ever go alone.
Tag: Travel
I Am the Beaten Path, and I Resent That You’re So Hell Bent on Getting Off Me
Getting walked all over is one thing. But being abandoned is what hurts me most of all.
I Promise to Do Something That Scares Me Every Day as Long as Minor Accommodations Are Made for My Safety and Well-Being
I will eat at a restaurant alone, as long as I can tell a friend to show up ten minutes after I’m seated and join me.
Your Older Cousin Jackson’s Ultimate Road Trip Tips
"When we stop for snacks, don't buy the Cookies 'N' Creme Hershey's bar. I bought one last year after my soccer tournament and it made me gag."
Subtle Modifications to Make When Your Work Conference Goes Virtual
During the ten-minute break between sessions, line up your children's stuffed animals in a giant single-file line leading directly to the bathroom.
Places the Car Might Have Flown Off to at the End of “Grease”
A drive-in movie theater in the sky – Danny and Sandy already went to a drive-in movie on land, so it only makes sense.
Dear Man Sitting Near Me at the Airport Picking His Nose and Eating His Boogers During a Pandemic
Do you really need to pull your neck gaiter down at the JetBlue gate and start spelunking your nostrils right then and there?
In Defense of Gap Years… Unless You Want to Hire Me
A gap year will help to make me the man I want to be. Unless you are planning to hire me, in which case: STOP READING. GIVE ME THE JOB.
Relaxing Foreign Getaways That No Longer Accept Your U.S. Passport
Too bad you aren’t welcome there! Argentina’s government, unlike the U.S., actually listens to scientists, so it closed its borders.
Have I Ever Been to Paris?
In Paris, we cry. In Paris we drink too much and enter the wrong apartment, accidentally sleeping in the wrong bed. That’s Paris.
How to Appropriately Move the Goalposts on Your 2020 Resolutions
A guide to retroactively adjusting your 2020 New Year’s resolutions so you don’t feel quite so unaccomplished.
Thomas the Tank Engine Reduces His Carbon Footprint
When he is not hauling freight, Thomas will lock himself inside of The Big Station and think about the damage he has done to our planet.