After Two Years of Emotional Misdirection, I’m Ready to Propose to the Love of My Life
She thinks I forgot what park it was! We walked by it two months ago and she said “Look! Do you remember?” and I said “What?"
Tag: Travel
I’m Thrilled to Announce That REI Is Sponsoring My Dirty Laundry Pile as a Top Climbing Destination
A treacherous, smelly laundry pile mountain with its own micro-ecosystem, flora/fauna/foot fungus found nowhere else, and several documentaries.
Famed Explorer Loses Entire Crew at IKEA
Wanting to avoid doing three year's worth of laundry, I shall strike out once again, this time to conquer IKEA.
Places You’ll Be While You’re Thinking About The New York Times’ “52 Places to Go in 2020” List
While Thinking About: The tropical rainforest of Rhukanrhuka, Bolivia. You'll Be: Swearing at the deli rat that scampered off with your last Funyun.
On This Diet, You Can Eat Anything (As Long as It’s Incredibly Time-Consuming to Prepare)
It's simple: if a recipe involves fewer than 52 ingredients, you're not allowed to eat it. Or if it takes fewer than 83 steps or 5 hours to prepare.
You’ll Love Our Newest Resort, You Lazy Fuck
Our friendly staff will welcome you in the lobby, where we’ll happily carry your bags for you. Look at you pretending you’re about to help!
I’m Rick Steves and I’m Now Touring the Inner Field of Consciousness, Not Europe
After a bit of soul searching, preceded by rather a lot of ayahuasca in a Christopher Street loft, I’ve decided to radically restructure my tours.
The Man on the Bahamian Omnibus
Time is money. Time flies. And therefore, the bus driver flies. Though side roads, through shortcuts, through worryingly narrow gaps.
Where Are They Now: Characters from Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic”
The couple that endured Rain On Their Wedding Day realized mid-Hawaiian-honeymoon that they never discussed having children.
Old-Fashioned Ways to Meet Someone, for the Modern Day
Using the Instagram photos you got at the wedding, pick your poison: "does improv," "romantic photos with sibling," or "talks a lot about sneakers."
Behold! Der American Adventures of Das EuroDad!
Mein gott, his calves are whiter than the snowcapped peaks of the Swiss Alps. Achtung, baby!
Instructions for if I Ever Travel through Time for Some Reason
If I travel back in time, we need to have a code word to indicate to the other person that I have time-traveled. Our code word will be “arugula.”