Twitter | Page 6 | Points in Case

Tag: Twitter

I will be sure to keep you updated on all the social metrics. I still care about you, and the kids (our kids), and our social media numbers.

If infractions occur, whisper “[your name] identifies [target’s name]” within one meter of any Tesla automobile, and it’ll get straightened out.

If you’re tempted to see parallels between "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" and your country, limit it to the fact that Chris Pratt exists in both.

OMG Literally Dead Plant: The most common millennial houseplant, it comes in all varieties that ultimately end the same way---dead AF.

We only have 700 miles left! Might be dehydration or crippling fever but think I love these friggin people! Thank you @OTBoltWagons! #final4

Is blockchain when you’re constipated because you ate too many quarters? Is blockchain a European architectural trend?

Juan Baerga, ‘10, has only ever used what he learned from his $160,000 engineering degree in determining which piece to remove in Jenga.

The only thing that stops a bad kid with a dream is a good fully grown adult with a Twitter account. Please heed these social media tips.

Firstly, the phrase, “I know all the words to 'Space Oddity'” is not the best way to start off an application to NASA.

Blocking foot-fetishist would mean losing a follower. It's not a competition, but Gabby has a ton of new followers with her "Trump sucks" schtick.

The Despacito singer received a routine chest X-ray today. Doctors say the Biebs will be “mildly radioactive for the next several hours.” Cute!

A master ball isn’t gonna do it, dumbass. It’s gonna take a brand sponsorship and widespread public interest in your day-to-day bullshit.